IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People aim to achieve balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to over come it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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It is claimed that keeping
a
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apply
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work-life harmony for most people nowadays is just out of the question.
This
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 essay will point out reasons and solutions to tackle
with
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them. With the intensity of
population
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the population
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 explosion and the incessant rise of the market economy, most people seem to
trap
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be trapped
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with
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in
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 the race to meet the social norm.
In other words
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 , to accommodate the desire
of possessing
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to possess
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 certain valued properties
such
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 as housing, cars,
facilities
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and facilities
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, an individual has to work harder for financial gains.
Moreover
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 ,
for
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those who after years of making
great
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a great
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 effort,
that
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finally
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 climb the ladder of success in their career,
they
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are more likely to be attracted by the glory of
the
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their
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 achievements and yearn for
a
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higher
self actualization
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self-actualization
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. To
fulfill
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fulfil
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such
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need
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needs
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, they inevitably become more reachable
as a result
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 of work extension and the increase in the number of related personnel, which leads to a
further
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 sacrifice of their personal life
for
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in
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the
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apply
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exchange
of
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for
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 their desirable social recognition. In order to overcome
this
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 issue, there are no other ways, but one’s will to set up a more reasonable timetable and schedule for their daily tasks.
For example
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 ,
instead
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 of spending most of his or her being in the office, one can register
a
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for a
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fitness or meditation class after work to boost their
inner-self
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self
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.
Besides
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 , they can
also
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 maintain some of their hobbies by sharing these with friends and family, especially
in
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at
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 the weekends when most companies are off and undone tasks can be put aside until next Monday. In case, some people may still blame workloads as the culprit for their time loss, it is vital that they consult an expert
of
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on
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 time management so that they
could
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can
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 acknowledge what to prioritize in their agenda. In conclusion, a compromise between material and spiritual life seems to be very challenging to accomplish
due to
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 several reasons belonging to modernization.
However
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 , time arrangement should be the key to any problems related to our social life.
Submitted by pirnapasovjoshqin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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