The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years,
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a concern in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Although
some people argue that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should be responsible for designing the
curriculum
, others think that it is better for the central authorities to decide on
this
. There are several reasons why the decision
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
school subjects should be taken by central authorities.
Firstly
, the government has a better idea about the society and the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
needs of people.
This
means that their knowledge is built through research and experience by
expects
Correct your spelling
experts
show examples
from distinct fields.
Secondly
, the government can make sure that the
curriculum
taught
equip
Correct subject-verb agreement
equips
show examples
students with practical skills which will
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
have good career prospects after graduation.
For example
, in
Vietnam
Add a comma
Vietnam,
show examples
the central authorities have decided to incorporate vocational subjects into the
curriculum
to improve employment for the employee.
However
, a teacher’s role is
imparted
Change the verb form
to impart
show examples
knowledge and development methodology in the
curriculum
most effective way to help students
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn well. Their main mission
assesses
Wrong verb form
assess
show examples
each student’s ability and learning ability and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
appropriate methods to help them understand and apply it to their career.
Moreover
, the job of the teacher is to deliver good teaching to the students, but not to make any
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
about subjects.
Since the
Change preposition
The
show examples
teacher’s training program, educational expenditure and teacher’s salary
all
Add a missing verb
are all
show examples
decided by the competent authority and only teachers obey the rules and regulations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given by the authority. In conclusion, governments and teachers have their distinctive
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
in education, but it would
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
beneficial if the government
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
the role of setting the school’s
curriculum
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument. However, some points lack development and elaboration. Ensure that all points are fully explained and supported with examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and follows a clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more impactful. Ensure that the introduction introduces the topic clearly and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: