IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependant on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss and give your own opinion.

#people #world #dependant
According to the perspective of some people on these days living lonely is a popular lifestyle among the majority of societies and nations. I believe that humanity still needs to socialise with each other, meanwhile a number of group people argue that people are enough ready to live independently.
To begin
 with, some justifiable reasons make modern people to live without taking a helping assistance from another. One of the chief among them could be that thanks to globalization and integration all over the world, individuals are capable of socializing more easily no matter who they are actually. To exemplify most of youngs in most parts of the world are making their own decisions,
such
 as getting married or continuing their future careers, not following their parents advices. As a consequence, they feel more mature to be responsible for their decision.
Furthermore
, as modern communities are based on the foundation of international friendship, they offer different types of available facilities for their members.
Therefore
, nowadays population doesn’t have to suffer from dealing with stressful and problematic situations.
On the other hand
, there are some pivotal priorities for people’s actions in terms of treating with the other.
Firstly
, people are accustomed to live and solve their personal or social issues by communicating with their families, friends and relatives.
Therefore
, they get access to receive wiser and more desirable advises from those people whenever they want.
In addition
, everyone is given the rights to take advantages of being serviced by other ones.
For instance
, a number of professions
such
 as psychologists, doctors, government authorities are required to work together. To conclude, despite the advantages of the way live separate lives, socially has far more benefits for humanity as a whole.
Submitted by babakulovabutolib on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: