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Band 6

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society
It is true that in most countries the
population
 of the elderly is increasing slowly due to the advancement in the medical field. In my opinion,
this
 has a negative impact on society due to the extra burden on
government
 expenditures and lack of opportunity to a younger
population
. On the one hand, the overpopulation of older people will create a burden on the
government
. To elucidate, most
government
Suggestion
governments
 collect the fund from the other citizens in the form of tax and it is used for the development of the nations.
For example
, if
such
 fund is allocated on the well-being of older people by giving well-equipped hospitals and retirement houses to live
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
such
government
 has to collect extra taxes from other people to maintain the budget of the country.
As a result
, the younger
population
 has to pay extra taxes to the
government
, which creates a negative impact on society.
On the other hand
, the
population
 of
such
 countries will be soaring. It is evident that
population
Suggestion
the population
 of older people is increasing day by day in the most nations due to the advancement in technology and medical science, which means that younger people do not get the opportunity to prove their talent.
For instance
, if the X generation does not retire from the job,
then
 the millennial generation will not get the chance, resulting in an increase in unemployment.
Thus
, the increase in the rate of unemployment creates a detrimental effect on the country. In conclusion,
although
 there is a great advancement in the medicine, an increase in the
population
 of the older generation not only does it create an extra burden on the
government
 by taking care of them but
also
 increases the rate of unemployment by not giving an opportunity to young people.
Submitted by jdsmss on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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