Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups.

However

, sharing personal

information

on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Nowadays, we are living in the era, while the online interaction is becoming increasingly interested by all age groups.

In contrast

, a side effect appears when personal

information

shared to social media websites.

This

essay,

therefore

, will highlight some reasons why the profit of using social media outweighs its deprivation.

Firstly

, social media makes all of the personal

information

can be accessed by other people.

Consequently

, privacy becomes the expensive things in the present day and some of the people

also

be victims of bullying case, especially children.

For instance

, a boy in Surabaya becomes bullying victim after he is playing with an adult man because he previously won the game and the man terror

this

boy.

This

terror makes the boy frightened whether he is at home. In another case, some people take some profit with hack

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

person's

account

and campaign anything disgusting. Particularly, my Facebook

account

hacked by unknown persons to promote some good business.

On the other hand

, having a social media

account

is essential in our world today. Undoubtedly, most of the recent

information

came from the social media and we only can discover

this

brief if

Accept comma addition

brief, if

we are following the

information

internet

Suggestion

the internet

. Due to

this

fact, most of the giant news corporations have social media

account

in every application to inform the latest news as soon as possible.

Furthermore

, social media

also

can help us to promote our business

Suggestion

the extensive scale.

For example

, I

also

use social media to promote my achievement as a teacher so other people want to join my class. Due to the reasons above, it can be considered that online interaction has much benefit. In conclusion, the problems emerge when we are interacting indirectly and it can be dangerous.

Nevertheless

, all of the drawbacks can be eliminated if we

are be

Suggestion

are being

harmful and be wise when utilize the online devices.

Hence

, the advantages using social media outweigh the drawbacks.

Fri Apr 24 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

355 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?