IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram bellow shows the proses by which bricks are manufactured for building industry.

The diagram bellow shows the proses by which bricks are manufactured for building industry.
#bellow #proses #bricks #industry
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The diagram reveals the proses
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 are produced bricks for
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 industry. There are a few steps, from digging with special techniques to delivering ready production.
The first step is
Linking Words
 that digger takes clay and put
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 special metal gird. After that clay
jump
Change the verb form
jumps
show examples
 down to
soothing
Add an article
the soothing
show examples
 place which is
roller
Correct article usage
the roller
show examples
 surface and is moving
next
Linking Words
standing
Change preposition
to standing
show examples
 via
this
Linking Words
 roller face. And at
this
Linking Words
 point, add some sand and water in order to mix well. After being mixed, it is moved to a special box via
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 crack and
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 out another crack Presley condition.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, wire cutter chops were the Presley clay option size and appear air-brick. In order to dry,
air-brick
Correct article usage
the air-brick
show examples
Add a missing verb
is move
show examples
move
Replace the word
moved
show examples
 to
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
 oven and there stay
24
Change preposition
for 24
show examples
-48 hours. After that, start 1 moment of drying
moderate
Change preposition
at moderate
show examples
 temperatures, which are 200°c---980°c.
Following
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 2
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
, consider high temperatures from 870°C to1300°C. And
then
Linking Words
 they cool
next
Linking Words
 during 48 - 72 hours
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
cooling
Add an article
the cooling
show examples
 chamber.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 brick packaging to
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 van and they are delivered to be needed building areas.
Submitted by pirnapasovjoshqin on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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