Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

It has bec

oming more c

Suggestion

is becoming

has become

ommon for museums to char

ge people

Suggestion

charge

who volunteers to enter the place while some others are free. In my opinion the benefits of

this

phenomenon are out

weigh the dr

Suggestion

outweigh

have outweighed

awback due to the reasons which I will mention in

this

essay.

First

of all, an undeniable fact of charging individuals in

this

case will be strongly support

the ar

Suggestion

supporting

tists, photographer or any oth

quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns to indicate an unspecified number or quantity

some

talented people who share their astonishing masterpiece in the museums.

This

support can even develop people’s talent to flourishing their arts more.

Secondly

, these places which believed in taking fees are need to

exp

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needed

and their building by these income

which

Suggestion

incomes

they gain from visitors for improving decoration, utiliti

es water, air c

Accept comma addition

utilities, water

ondition or any other related costs and

this

cannot be paid by the

Suggestion

from

pital only and museums are nee

d a grea

Suggestion

need

t amount of budget which can easily access by entering fees.

Secondly

, museums can hire more staff to with a wide range of related information to guide more accurately visitors about the pieces which depict.

Although

some extra facilities can be provide like some welcoming drink in entrance gate or hire some guards to assure visitor

s securi

Suggestion

visitors'

visitor

ty or maybe by developing some facilities for elderly visitors, like wheelchairs. From the other point of view, due to economi

c crisis which majori

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the economic crisis, which

the economic crisis which

an economic crisis which

ty of people are suffering as result

of bei

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a result

ng in pressure for their daily expenditures

this

may leads t

hem t

Suggestion

lead

o be in tight of budget.

Suggestion

a budget

As a result

it could

Accept comma addition

result, it

be tough for them to afford these extra costs like entering fees of museums and prefer to save their money for the critical matters which may be face in

the

Suggestion

facing

faced

ir life. So, these sort of

peo

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sorts

ple tend to fulfill

their

put in effect

fulfil

leisure time by going to free museums.

This

actually will fall the number of visitor

but

Suggestion

visitors, but

visitors but

this

issue could be solve b

y res

Suggestion

solved

trict the number of museums which need to be paid or even by decreasing the price of entering so it could be more reasonable for a great number of people. In conclusion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to charging entry f

ee for pe

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an entry fee

ople who fascinating to attend.by ente

Suggestion

ng fees more museums are able to expand their facilities in variety

of thi

Suggestion

a variety

ngs and even may lead to encourage artist

to be

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artists

the artist

more active, while

this

fee can be reduce

or res

Suggestion

reduced

trict to be pleasant for majorit

y of vis

Suggestion

the majority

itors.

Submitted by nazgol.tabatabaee on Fri Apr 24 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

395 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income unfortunately tourism can also be a source of problems if it not well managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh it's drawbacks?

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to live in cities rather than in rural areas. What are the reasons for this trend, and do you think it has more advantages or disadvantages?