IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The debate weather daily
usage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
 have more disadvantages than advantages for children has become a matter of discussion for many. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, in my opinion, in order to have a successful career it is very important they are encouraged to use
computer
Use synonyms
 from a young age. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall outline the main reasons and analyse the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 change. There are many positive effects of using
computer
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis.
Firstly
Linking Words
, at an early life, it is much easier to learn new concepts,
thus
Linking Words
 everyday
usage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
 promotes paramount skills that could be helpful in their future career.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in our modern world, technology is updating at a very fast pace,
thus
Linking Words
, it is crucial for kids to keep up with
this
Linking Words
 change in order to stay up to date.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, many studies have shown that young people who were exposed to
computer
Use synonyms
 technology at an early stage of their life, are less likely to struggle with learning new technical concepts
such
Linking Words
 as programming languages, Operating systems etc. Owning to
this
Linking Words
, today more schools and universities are including digital online courses in their curriculum.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as we live in the era of internet, today a vast database of knowledge on every topic and subject can be found on the internet, parents could encourage children to efficiently make use of the time spent on
computer
Use synonyms
 by studying.
Although
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 everyday
usage
Use synonyms
 does put strain on eyes and it is the primary cause of various vision related alignments.
However
Linking Words
, with the advancements that are being made in our display technology,
such
Linking Words
 issues will soon be a thing of the past. In conclusion, from the given arguments and examples, I firmly believe that everyday
usage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
 has clear advantages and these are being recognised worldwide.
In addition
Linking Words
, as our world is rapidly shifting towards digitization, in future we could expect to see a majority of courses in schools and colleges being delivered online on
computer
Use synonyms
 or mobile devices.
Submitted by gknaruto608 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: