At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #outweigh

Currently, some countries have a higher

population

of young adults compared to their

population

aged

Suggestion

aging

persons.

This

statistic has far reaching effects on the economy of any

country

which can be both positive and negative,

however

the positive effects of

this

statistics

Suggestion

statistic

outweigh the negative effects.

Firstly

, a higher percentage of young adults in the

population

of a

country

will provide an

agile innovative

Accept comma addition

agile, innovative

workforce which

Accept comma addition

workforce, which

will

contribute the rapid

Suggestion

contribute to the rapid

economic growth of a

country

. In our world today, technological advancement is important for the

development

of any

country

and young adults are well educated and versed in

this

sector.

For example

, In Nigeria, we have experienced an influx of financial technology companies (FINTECHs) which are started and run by young-adults in the

country

. These FINTECHs have actively contributed to the gross domestic product of the

country

Secondly

, an increasing young-adult

population

in any

country

will result in the re-allocation of government resources from a

high

Suggestion

higher

pension and health care fund used to cater

for

Suggestion

senior citizens to an increased

budget

allocation for

research

and

development

. An increased

research

and

development

budget

will result in targeted projects for exponential economic

development

For instance

, the case of the pandemic COVID-19, a higher

research

and

development

budget

in any

country

can determine the speed at which a vaccine is created.

Nevertheless

, a larger young-adult

population

could lead to a dearth of history in a

country

. The aged

population

of a

country

is usually possible for transferring societal values and historical lessons to the younger

population

. In conclusion,

this

essay has highlighted the merits of an increased young adult

population which

Accept comma addition

population, which

includes an innovative workforce with a higher

research

and

development

budget

However

, a dearth of

history

Suggestion

historical

consciousness could be a demerit of an increased younger

population

Nevertheless

, I opine that considering the economic growth potential to be gained, the advantages of an increased young adult

population

outweighs the disadvantages.

Submitted by moyowauranje on Sat Apr 25 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

318 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

both views: family influences the children’ development Discuss both views: some people believe family influences the children’ development; however, some argue that other influences (movie, music, friends…) more affect children.

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be usefull in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. Others think that watching TV or playing computer games can do children good. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.