The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

#amount #leisure #time #centres #influence #society

Lifestyle of the people has been changed so as the shopping style

also

. There are buildings dedicated to shopping only. They are so luring that it is hard to resist to check the things out. And young generation

are becoming

Suggestion

is becoming

more and more curious to try and have each and every thing.

Hence

, I agree that

young

Suggestion

younger

generations are spending their leisure

time

in shopping centres which

this

could have a negative influence on them and

society

. There were days when outdoor activity being counted as leisure games.

For example

, whenever I used to play the cricket with my siblings, or cycling with friends or etc.

Suggestion

my leisure

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

I still prefer to enjoy

this

way only. There are advantages of

this

, like, using

brain

Suggestion

the brain

for

apply

Suggestion

applying

statergy

an elaborate and systematic plan of action

strategy

to win, building team and learning win or loss. More importantly, it leads to a good physical growth of brain and body.

However on

Accept comma addition

However, on

the other side, Today's teenagers are utilising their

time

shopping centre

Suggestion

the shopping centre

and get fantasized about fast foods and buying

uneccesary

not necessary

unnecessary

stuffs.

This

leads to obesity and social distancing. They are not able to show up their any physical talent which they might have,

also

their body is becoming

sensative

responsive to physical stimuli

sensitive

due to less outdoor exposure. Lack of gelling up and understanding the body language is

also

a con. Concentrating on short term goals like shopping rather than investing

time

fun

Suggestion

a fun

, logical and in sport is not a fruitful decision. I would like to

coclude

decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion

conclude

that young people are the pillar of any

society

and full of talent, they should channelise the energy and

time

Suggestion

the right direction which will be useful for them and

society

also

. One single popular name can change the whole picture of any

society

. So, One should focus on achieving something big while enjoying that activity.

Sat Apr 25 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?

The spread of a ‘global language’ such as English will threaten national languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Economic growth is one way to measure a country's success, but what else should we look at? which do you think is the most important?

Some people think financial aid from international organizations is important for developing countries. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.