The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Lifestyle of the people has been changed so as the shopping style
also
. There are buildings dedicated to shopping only. They are so luring that it is hard to resist to check the things out. And young generation
are becoming
Suggestion
is becoming
more and more curious to try and have each and every thing.
Hence
, I agree that
young
Suggestion
younger
generations are spending their leisure
time
in shopping centres which
this
could have a negative influence on them and
society
. There were days when outdoor activity being counted as leisure games.
For example
, whenever I used to play the cricket with my siblings, or cycling with friends or etc.
in
Suggestion
In
my leisure
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
I still prefer to enjoy
this
way only. There are advantages of
this
, like, using
brain
Suggestion
the brain
for
apply
Suggestion
applying
statergy
an elaborate and systematic plan of action
strategy
to win, building team and learning win or loss. More importantly, it leads to a good physical growth of brain and body.
However on
Accept comma addition
However, on
the other side, Today's teenagers are utilising their
time
at
shopping centre
Suggestion
the shopping centre
and get fantasized about fast foods and buying
uneccesary
not necessary
unnecessary
stuffs.
This
leads to obesity and social distancing. They are not able to show up their any physical talent which they might have,
also
their body is becoming
sensative
responsive to physical stimuli
sensitive
due to less outdoor exposure. Lack of gelling up and understanding the body language is
also
a con. Concentrating on short term goals like shopping rather than investing
time
in
fun
Suggestion
a fun
, logical and in sport is not a fruitful decision. I would like to
coclude
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
that young people are the pillar of any
society
and full of talent, they should channelise the energy and
time
at
Suggestion
in
the right direction which will be useful for them and
society
also
. One single popular name can change the whole picture of any
society
. So, One should focus on achieving something big while enjoying that activity.

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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