Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children

Computer

is one of the most important part of our modern society. While some people prefer their children don'

work with

computer

Suggestion

computers

the computer

every day, others find some benefits in daily working

Suggestion

with

computer

. I agree with the

first

view. So, I am going to explain my opinion.

First

of all, working with

computer

for

long

Suggestion

a long time

time

during a day

can makes

Suggestion

can make

a bad effect on eyes of children.

look

perceive with attention; direct one's gaze towards

Look

at the screen of the

computer

has a lot of

sid

a place within a region identified relative to a center or reference location

side

Sid

effect

Suggestion

effects

for children's eyes. If we didn'

attention on that, it has a bad effect on their health.

In addition

this

is on parents’ duty to care about children.

For example

, my friend’s child, played with

computer

Suggestion

computers

the computer

every day for

long

Suggestion

a long time

time

. His parents didn'

care that one.

Finally

, after couples of years they understood their son needs to the wear the glasses. It was deep trouble for

boys

Suggestion

the boys

who was 7 years.

Second

, children by working on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

computers

a computer

, loos the exercise

time

Therefore

, they can'

do move more and start to fat. Children when play or work with PC, enjoy eating during that.

Consequently

, be fat is

make

Suggestion

making

the huge problem for them in future.

For instance

, my brother had

got

Suggestion

gotten

this

problem.

until

Suggestion

Until

now that he is 20 years, he couldn'

lose his weigh. According, I think in child

age we

Accept comma addition

age, we

should focus on some reasons which help to going fat and stop them. In conclusion, I would like to restate my opinion about don'

daily work with

Suggestion

a PC

. Due to heath

body

Accept comma addition

body, such

such

as effecting on the eyes and losing the exercise’s

time

and start

Suggestion

with

fat, I believe that

computer

Suggestion

the computer

a computer

is a significant factor here.

Submitted by aidam8630 on Sun Apr 26 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Sedentary lifestyle
Physical inactivity
Cognitive development
Internet addiction
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Digital literacy
Virtual learning environments
Parental controls
Moderation
Online safety
Tech-savvy
E-learning
Information technology
Eye strain
Social skills
Multitasking
Interactive education
Health repercussions

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