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Band 4

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies
Some people think the hobbies can help pleasure from
difficult situation
Suggestion
a difficult situation
difficult situations
 and they believe that.
This
 is agreeing with following of statement and through
this
 essay will evidence some example at the details.
First
 of all,
this
 is
true statement
Suggestion
a true statement
 that people will realise their time and that time can help more and more passing with interesting
,
Accept space
,
enjoyable
,
Accept space
,
memor-able
worth remembering
memorable
 more and more the hobbies passing with playing games or cooking something as well as they take to glad from them and sometimes take relaxation form hobbies.
while
Suggestion
While
 people take encourage and motivation for living which is
this
 so beautiful In the era.
In addition
, it can be brightly when they do
of their hobbies,
Suggestion
, their hobbies,
 while
this
 gives more pleasure moods to them.
On the other hand
, there are some difficult happens collected with hobbies.
However
, some people have their purpose in the life and their hobbies impact their life.
For example
, some people live to achieve earning so much money,
thus
 they haven't enough time for family
,
Accept space
,
friends
,
Accept space
,
hobbies and other things,
therefore
, they don't find certain of hobbies and don't understand it's enjoyment. But, the starting of hobbies
have
Suggestion
has
 some
difficults
an effort that is inconvenient
difficulties
at
Suggestion
in
of
 learning
of
Suggestion
about
 it. I think the hobbies have per
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
 the living is in the earth and they take amusing mood and relaxed
from
Suggestion
about
 it. To sum up, in
this
 essay have hobbies about enjoyable and
difficults
not easy; requiring great physical or mental effort to accomplish or comprehend or endure
difficult
,
Accept space
,
 and more people take pleasure mood and it need to rest some problems
,
Accept space
,
work and
anoathers
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
another
.
Submitted by nosirxonibroximov634 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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