Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
have different opinions about saving and protecting wild
animals
. A group of
people
believe that all wild
animals
should be protected
while
others
think that we should only preserve several ones. The following paragraphs will discuss both views in detail, but I personally believe that all wild
animals
should be conserved. For a number of reasons, some
people
believe that not all wild
animals
should be preserved.
Firstly
, they believe that the overpopulation of wild
animals
could become a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
our existence.
For example
, should the population of Zebra and Wildebeest in Africa
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
be
show examples
protected,
then
the existence of these
animals
might become overpopulated, and
as a result
, they might explore the farming areas in Africa.
Secondly
, conserving wild
animals
requires a large amount of money. They believe that these funds should be allocated
for
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to
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humanity issues, as many
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
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countries are still struggling against starvation and deathly diseases.
However
,
others
think that all wild
animals
must be protected. The main
reason
behind
this
view is that all of the wild
animals
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an important role in the ecosystem. Should there be one of these
animals
extinct,
then
the ecosystem would be unbalanced and it might have a catastrophic effect on the environment. Another
reason
is that the existence of these wild
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
is beneficial for human beings. Scientists have found out that some wild
animals
could be used as a medical treatment,
such
as the blood of a snake which can be used to heal skin diseases. There is another
reason
that forms the opinion that all wild
animals
are important and should be equally protected. The
reason
explains that if we protect some selected wild
animals
,
others
might
get
Verb problem
go
show examples
extinct and
then
we will damage the biodiversity of the world. In conclusion, a number of
people
believe that we should protect all wild
animals
,
while
others
think that we should only preserve some of them. Both groups have their own opinions, but I strongly believe that we should conserve all wild
animals
.
Submitted by shappy626lydia on

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task response
Ensure all supporting examples are directly relevant to the points being made. Avoid using speculative language and focus on presenting evidence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively present and summarize the main points. Make sure to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices for improved coherence.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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