IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
Parents always have the best interests of children at their heart. It is believed by some that children ought to learn skills at school, while others believe they will benefit more, if a variety of subjects are taught. In my opinion, I consider that having an understanding of a broad range of subjects is the key to a child's
future
. On the one hand, it is considered by some that schools should focus on teaching children skills. Non-academic skills are important for an overall development of a child,
in other words
, they need to learn how to co-operate with others. Since we do not live, work or socialize in isolation, these skills will help them succeed in school and later in life when they will be part of a team environment.
For instance
, learning to communicate effectively with others and to resolve conflicts and confrontations are skills that will stand them in good stead in their
future
.
On the other hand
, some believe and I agree that schools need to emphasize on a varied curriculum. Students nowadays, are faced with a lot of competition and exposing them to a variety of subjects is the key to a successful
future
. At
this
 age, children are keen learners and observers and
therefore
, can learn concepts and fundamentals of all topics much more easily and effectively.
As a result
, they will develop a broad understanding, which will benefit them academically as well as later on in life to be successful in whatever profession they choose.
Consequently
,
this
 will shape them to be well balanced and rounded individuals who are ready to take on the challenging job market. In conclusion, parents desire the best for their children and schools can play an important role towards it, and I believe that the ideal way to ensure a child's
future
 is by having a curriculum that focuses on a broad range of subjects.
Submitted by najeeb.quadeer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: