With pressure on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe the non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #syllabus #children

It is irrefutable that education plays an imperative role in building the successful career of a person

Accept space

however

Suggestion

However

Nowadays non academic subjects

plays

Suggestion

play

a crucial role in the education system

Accept space

Students from all ages spend a considerable amount of time going to learn new kinds of ideas at the schools

Accept space

some

Suggestion

Some

families argue that non academic should be removed completely from the syllabus while others people agree completely from the non academic subjects for children

Accept space

However i

Accept comma addition

However, I

However I

opine that non- academic subject at school should not be removed completely from the syllabus. To commence with

Accept space

non academic subjects are beneficial for

children

Suggestion

child

children's

development because it might improve a variety of social skills

Accept space

Many students who take

clasess

a collection of things sharing a common attribute

classes

like music, arts and so on

Accept space

they

Suggestion

They

enhances

Suggestion

enhance

have enhanced

self esteem

Suggestion

the self esteem

of students and increase knowledge.

Moreover students

Accept comma addition

Moreover, students

who do sports with friends might have a more positive effect on growth

as a

result they

Accept comma addition

result, they

will increase their social abilities

such

as helping others.

Secondly

Accept space

students

Suggestion

students'

student's

ability to increase their imagination

thus

students who develop communication skills will

emphasis

Suggestion

emphasize

each other. In

conclusion I

Accept comma addition

conclusion, I

believe that non academic subjects are valuable for children in order to improve

such

abilities of children for growth and development.

Sun Apr 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Some juveniles spend a long time each day on their mobile phones. This is because video streaming apps are so engrossing, but this can have negative consequences because they can distract children from family life.
8
band
In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
In the world's modern society, smartphones might be a necessary part of living survival because people use them for most of every transaction purchase. This essay will illustrate the benefits that outweigh the drawbacks regarding this progressive development with some described instances.
4.5
band
Some people believe that manufacture and supermarkets have the responsible to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customer should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Nowadays, individuals are being more concerned of environmental issues caused by plastic which is also used is packaging. Thus, some say that the producers and the stores need to be responsible for reducing the amount of packaging, but some disagree and say that it is the responsibility of the customers. In my perspective, it tend to be manufacturers' responsibility to decrease the use of packaging. Although the consumers can help in reducing the amount of packaging, it is just going to be merely by small amount.
4.5
band
Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that getting a job is a vital something for any human in our world. While it is a commonly held belief that individuals should be satisfied with their jobs, there is also an argument that being stable in any work is the best attitude for some people. This essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.
8
band
You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket
I hope this letter finds you well! I would like to share that I purchased tickets for the 3-day concert happening next week, and I couldn’t be more excited. Our favorite singer will be performing, and additionally, there will be bars, food trucks, and carnival rides, which will surely make for a delightful experience for everyone attending.

With pressure on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe the non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people believe that manufacture and supermarkets have the responsible to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customer should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket