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Band 5.5

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #values #phenomenon
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World economic development has rescued many
people
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out of
Change preposition
from
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 deprivation and brought a better life,
whereas
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 most
of
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apply
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people
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 claim
this
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 trend leads to the loss of traditional
values
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. In my opinion,
this
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 trend has more advantages and disadvantages which are manageable to cope with. On the one hand, many benefits are brought because of economic growth.
Firstly
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, it reduces impoverishment and improves the quality of life.
While
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 grows, more job opportunities are being created. The income from jobs can help
the
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apply
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society escape poverty and
people
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 can have a better standard of living.
In addition
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,
people
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 can have access to education when they can afford the tuition fee. Through education,
people
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 gain a variety of knowledge in many fields
,
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apply
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 and learn how to use it for a better world.
For example
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, Singapore used to be one of the world's poorest islands has become one of the richest countries.
Government
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The government
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 attracts foreign investors with no taxes,
invests
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and invests
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 20% of its GDP in education. Citizens of Singapore study at
most
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the most
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 prestigious universities around the for free.
On the other hand
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, there is no denying the fact that some traditional
values
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 are perishing because of
the
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apply
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consumerism.
For example
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, after meeting basic needs,
people
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 are eager to pursue more luxurious items without cherishing the things they have already owned. Humans think that everything can be bought with money, even friendship and love. When
the
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apply
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humanity becomes like
this
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, it is hard for us to trust others or build a true relationship.
However
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,
the
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apply
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social
values
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 can be restored by imparting moral lessons from an early age.
People
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 can cultivate the correct moral
values
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 and stick to those principles, even though
the
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apply
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society may be changing.
For example
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, China and Japan keep their traditional culture alive by celebrating the Lunar Year and
Respect
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respecting
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 for aged day. Celebrating holidays together helps to nurture
the
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apply
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family connections, giving a sense of belonging and
celebrate
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celebrating
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 generations of families. More importantly, traditions create positive memories for children.
To conclude
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,
the
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apply
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society should develop the economy because it brings immense benefits,
such
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 as improved quality of life and chance to acquire learning. As for the risk of losing social
values
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, it can be prevented by giving
value
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valuable
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 schooling from an early age.
Submitted by bammesdilia24 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to state your position on the topic. This will help guide the rest of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position. This will give your essay a strong ending.
grammatical range accuracy
Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical and lexical resources.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
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