We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

#information #age #technology #people #lives

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With the tremendous development of the technologies, it seems as if people are having the quality

life

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and they appears to be happy in their

life

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as they are

teemed

Suggestion

teeming

with the technologies.

However

Linking Words

, the reality is different. The excessive use of

such

Linking Words

technology

Use synonyms

has hampered the

life

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of people, and people are being despondent in

this

Linking Words

new era of development. The advent of

internet

Suggestion

the internet

has created the excessive abuse of the resources. People are more focused in sitting in the computer rather than performing their work. It has not only created lethargy

Suggestion

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

also

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many mental

disorder

Suggestion

disorders

among the people. Prolonged sitting in front of the computer

renders

Suggestion

render

eye problem and

also

Linking Words

creates many more anxiety in the people.

Similarly

Linking Words

, use of

such

Linking Words

technology

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makes people introvert so that they are only obsessive to the computer. The socialization of human beings is easily hampered

with

Suggestion

such

Linking Words

technology

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. One

can not

cannot

be fully socialized when he sits at the corner of a house.

Person

Suggestion

A person

The person

must speak to

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

in order to be more socialized, they have to talk face to face, share their feelings at the time of

meeting

Suggestion

the meeting

which makes some meaning. To illustrate

this

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, let me take my own experience. I was totally infatuated with a girl, and I used

facebook

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Facebook

to purpose her, but she did not give any response. I planned to

tell

express in words

say

the same thing during our visit, she gave me the positive answer. What I want to show that head to head conversation is more reliable than the far distance communication. The

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

more obvious reason is that the privacy of the person gets disclosed, which may

creates

Suggestion

create

different problems. The criminal activities can be easily pervasive in

such

Linking Words

case. The position, lifestyle, and any other everyday work can be known through

such

Linking Words

technology

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

technology

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also

Linking Words

brings stranger closer, and

finally

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that vary stranger might hamper you by disclosing your private lifestyle. In sum, though the

technology

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has brought the people to feel closer, yet there are many more

risk

Suggestion

risks

that the

vary

used as an intensifier

very

technology

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can seriously damage your good living

life

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Submitted by phamnhatminh01 on Sun Apr 26 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

350 words

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We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to your neighbour about the damage that occurred to your car while he was parking his car in the lane outside your home. In the letter, you should: describe the damage say how you feel about this problem suggest to him what actions he should take.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?