Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people

Every technological developments brought benefits to

people

Suggestion

the people

. As many new high

tech instruments

Accept comma addition

tech, instruments

have changed the way that people live many earlier technologies

also

had a lot of

impacts

Suggestion

impact

To begin

with, I should compare some new technologies with older

Accept space

For

example new

Accept comma addition

example, new

mobile systems

such

as android or

ios

have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)

years

during 8 or 9 years ago have had

such

important impacts on the way people communicate to each other

Accept space

As inventing mobile had

change

Suggestion

changed

the world about twenty years

ago but

Accept comma addition

ago, but

these new high tech mobiles have

also

changed the lives

Accept space

A survey conducted on the recent technological developments revealed that many people think their behaviours have changed.

On the contrary

, Many earlier technological developments

Such

as inventing refrigerator, Television, Metro have

also

had a lot of

impacts

Suggestion

impact

on the lives of people. To conclude

Accept space

cant

can not

can't

say which technological developments earlier or recent brought more benefits as both of them are important and made the lives of people more simple

Accept space

Submitted by koorosh200500 on Sun Apr 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

163 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that every human being can create art . Others think only people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls