IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree? ???

#quality #health #care #person #size #bank #balance #government #level #healthcare #citizens
Health
 quality is a basic need for people in all societies, regardless of their financial status that governments are responsible for providing enough
health
care
 facilities for all of its citizens. I totally agree with that
government
 should offer
health
care
 for all people in different financial levels as
health
care
 it is a significant factor for every person.
First
 of all, caring of people’s
health
 is an essential necessity in all countries that governments are responsible for providing
health
care
 for all people;
additionally
,
health
care
 facility is the right of all citizens poor or rich.
For example
, in my country Iran rich citizens have far better wellness facilities, treatment and diagnosis
in contrast
 of poor people because
government
 does not supply equal
health
care
 facilities for all residents.
On the other hand
,
health
care
 is a vital and primary need in all countries because
health
 status of people has a significant effect on the economy.
Therefore
, it is so important people are in a healthy status in their life.
For instance
, in Japan authorities supply equal wellness support to everyone because the Japanese
government
 wants to prevent their public from mortality rate and increases their country’s efficiency beside improve their economy with offer same
health
care
 for people with different levels. To summarize, providing
health
care
 for people in a community is a right of all people and ensuring quality
health
care
 facilities to all the citizens of a country.
Hence
, supporting physical and mental strength of residents of the country is a responsibility that no
government
 can deny
Submitted by melika4120 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: