In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes

It is widely accepted that reducing

crime

has a crucial role in increasing public well-being. Over the past few years,

crime

is becoming more frequent and violent in numerous nations. In

this

essay, I will demonstrate how the

poverty

is the main driving factor behind

this

phenomenon, and some viable measures to mitigate

this

trend are

also

outlined below. The foremost culprit of the rise in crimes is

poverty

. Given that many poor people may be uneducated and lack the necessary skills to find a job, most of them are unemployed. As a corollary, to earn a living, many have had resort to crimes.

Besides

that,

poverty

also

the reason why crimes are becoming more violent in nature.

For example

, according to research published by the Vietnam government, violent crimes involving knives and firearms in the latest decade in Vietnam, especially mass murderers, registered

the highest

Suggestion

higher

number than any periods in the past.

This

bears a testament to why

crime

issues may become worsen with more violent activities. To effectively address the aforementioned issue from the root, I believe that governments should focus on the following measures.

To begin

with, authorities should put more efforts in solving the unemployment problem which is proven to be inextricably linked to

crime

This

can be achieved in the foreseeable future by providing their citizens, especially in

poverty

-stricken regions, with vocational training and more job opportunities. In the long term, governments should attempt to improve their countries’ economies and enhance social stability, which can go a long way towards diminishing the unemployment rate. Simultaneously,

crime education

Accept comma addition

crime, education

should be adopted as a new subject in the school’s curriculum to ensure that younger generations perceive the importance of their compliance with the law. As a part of

this

scheme, ex-convicts should be invited as speakers who will enlighten students about the lifelong consequences of

crime

threrby

by that means or because of that

thereby

dispelling criminal intent. In conclusion, I believe that the rise in the number of offences and violence can be ascribed to crippling

poverty

in many countries, and

thus

the proposed solutions including the reduction of unemployment and educational teaching methods are both feasible measures to alleviate

this

phenomenon.

Submitted by manhcuong05101998 on Mon Apr 27 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
violent crimes
socioeconomic factors
law enforcement
technology
education
employment
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
poverty
inequality
effectiveness
investing
job creation
social support
community engagement

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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work foe different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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