In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions.

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It is true that

people

Use synonyms

, nowadays, have more experience of being overweight, and they

also

Linking Words

have bad levels of health and fitness. There are several causes of those problems which can be solved by some solutions. In recent years,

people

Use synonyms

have become more inactive

due to

Linking Words

the advancement of technology. To illustrate, citizens prefer to stay in their rooms scroll social media, do their work on the bed on a laptop, and even buy their food online. These make them less productive and more passive

Remove the comma

apply

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so that they will be more likely to have higher weights and bad levels of fitness.

Next,

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

choose to go to the office or school by car or motorcycle rather than walking or biking. It burns fewer calories and can cause an overweight. They will be easily injected by viruses or bacteria. In my perspective, there are several solutions that can be used to solve those aforementioned problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can make their own schedule for doing regular exercise or joining sports clubs.

For instance

Linking Words

, currently, running has become a positive trend to gain good health. Youngsters, old

people

Use synonyms

, and even workers are rarely joining

this

Linking Words

event. It can influence them to be more productive on their days off.

Secondly

Linking Words

, government or local councils can take the role of facilitators. They can offer great public transportation and repair public facilities. It will be a good option to lead citizens to use those and make them more active because they have to walk to the bus station or another type of public transportation shelter.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the increase in average weight and the decrease in the levels of health and fitness are caused by several factors. Some solutions can be used to cut those problems off.

misstiasclassroomFri Dec 15 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing your paragraphs effectively. While your essay demonstrates a good degree of logical structure, there are some areas where transitions could be smoother and the connection between ideas could be strengthened.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, which you have done. Both are largely clear and fulfill their respective roles, with the conclusion effectively summarizing the main points of your essay. However, the introduction could be more specific in stating the key arguments that will be addressed in the main body.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. While the essay includes support for the points made, the support could be more specific and detailed to make the arguments stronger and more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task to ensure a complete response. Your essay addresses the causes and provides some solutions to the problems, but the development is somewhat unequal and more detail could be given to fully explore these areas. Expand upon the solutions and how they could be implemented, including potential obstacles and how they might be overcome.

Task Achievement

Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. While your response touches upon key ideas relevant to the topic, additional clarity and depth are needed to thoroughly convey your understanding of the topic. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each point made is developed with clear reasoning and evidence.

Task Achievement

Include relevant examples that are specific to the topic to support your points. The essay includes examples, but further specificity and relevance to the main topic would make them more effective. Use examples that clearly demonstrate the connection between causes and proposed solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions.

Your opinion

Some scientists believe that studying 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

Although glabalisation can be positive for some nations' economies, the negative impact on local communities should not be ignored. Do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicatio outweigh the disadvantage?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?