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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #opportunities #generation #companies #level #employees
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The soaring rate of unemployment of young people has caused a great loss to the economy. Some suggest eliminating senior workers who are older than 55 is the solution to
this
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 problem. I strongly opposed to
this
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 idea. The unemployment rate will decrease, in general, if more senior employees retire since that means there will be more vacancies available.
In addition
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 to that, youngsters seem to be more creative and better with modern technology - which are getting more and more important in many fields.
However
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, I believe the drawbacks of
this
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 idea totally outweigh its benefits.
Firstly
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, though younger employees are more innovative, most of them are usually lack of practical experience, which means that, if all people who are older than 55 retire, there will be a shortage of skilled labour force and
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 apply to any fields.
Secondly
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, there is no reason for a healthy and talented high level employee to retire if he or she is doing well in his or her job as there will cost a lot of money, time and effort to find an foster an employee who are capable of doing the job.
Moreover
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,
this
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 policy will discourage the faith and loyalty of the employees as well as lowering the work efficiency. To conclude, age is definitely not the criteria to choose an employee as there are many other aspects that need to be concerned and to make senior employees to retire from high-level positions just because of their age will be harmful not only to companies but
also
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 society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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