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IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 5 In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes?

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In most of the countries, criminal activities are thriving day by day.
This
 is caused by a number of reasons behind,
such
 as unemployment, illiteracy, profusion, rising standards of living and many more.
H
owever there
Accept comma addition
However, there
is no
such
 issue which we cannot deal with so here in the essay below will discuss about the main reasons and the ways to face these causes.
Firstly
, the people who are unemployed are giving a main hit to the crime rate as these people cannot afford to live in a society they get involved to do crimes to fulfil their basic needs unaware of the fact that the results can be destructive to their lives.
Secondly
, illiteracy is
also
 a huge problem for society as these people do not have any knowledge about how to live in a society with a good manner
in addition
, these people are agile and can be influenced easily to do any wrong task.
Furthermore
, profusion is
also
 a reason which is getting worse as due to lack of facilities some people do not get what they want which makes them disturbed owing to their involvement in crimes.
On the other hand
, there are few things which can be done to face or deal with
such
 a problem.The government and societies should take the equal initiative to solve
this
 obstacle
for instance
, Free education should be provided to people who cannot afford to study
moreover
 employment opportunities can be introduced so that each one can earn money to serve their families. And of course strict action should be taken who are convicted of any crime so they can learn about the outcomes of their doings. To sum up, I would say there are considerable causes of the increase of crime rates and of course by taking appropriate steps
this
 problem can be dealt with at least there would be a small change if each and every person get involved to solve
this
 issue.
Submitted by chirag.dashy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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