Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer.

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Entertainment is significant in life, so famous people
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as singers, actors,
models
Correct word choice
and models

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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benefit from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

field. It is argued that they are paid far too much
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.In my opinion, I tend to agree that they deserve a high salary for their dedication and effort. First of all, as
other
Change preposition
in other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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professions,
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to give a lot of time and relentless training
effortin
Correct your spelling
effort in

If you don’t want effortin to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the hopes of
shinning
Correct your spelling
shining

The word shinning doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in the limelight.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Korean trainees
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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spent many years efforting against thousands of
ones
Correct your spelling
others

The word ones doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to reserve a debut.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not everyone has a rich artistic talent that has to go through the process of harsh training ,so that
thay
Correct your spelling
they

If you don’t want thay to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

can compete in a fast-firing work environment.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Jin Bts is a person who has
practiced
Change the spelling
practised

The spelling of practiced is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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singing and dancing day and night because of his original background as a model, he needs to cultivate more skills to become an idol.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they absolutely
deserve
Add the particle
deserve to

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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be paid a high income for their efforts. Another argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of paying a lot of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for the jobs which
helps
Change the verb form
help

The singular verb helps does not appear to agree with the plural subject the jobs. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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decuation
Correct your spelling
education
decoration

If you don’t want decuation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and health of
community
Add an article
the community
a community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. In fact,
Professions
Replace the word
Professionals

The word Professions doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as teachers, doctors and engineers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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have a more stable salary than well-known people. Because they do not have retirement pensions
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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they get older and the amount of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they receive depends on the number of tickets sold each concert and profit from the music product.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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new
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

just appear and the old ones have to try their best to bring the quality end trendy goods in order to maintain their social position. It is undeniable that famous people are influencers who have power in
media
Correct article usage
the media

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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community to join them and their fans together to help the
disadvantages
Replace the word
disadvantaged

The word disadvantages doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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or donate charitable funds.
Futher more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The words Futher more seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

, the spiritual contributions of
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not only help us to relax but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

inspire the dynamic. In conclusion, I believe that
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

appropriate be paid far much
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

money
Change preposition
of money

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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for their dedication.Because every occupation is equal, no job is more noble than
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone

The word any one seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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,as long as they work true.

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task response
Ensure that you clearly address all parts of the question, provide relevant ideas, and support your points with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall organization of the essay and ensure that your ideas are logically connected and coherently presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lucrative
  • revenue
  • sponsorships
  • merchandise
  • career longevity
  • market demand
  • economic contribution
  • role models
  • influence
  • entertainment industry
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