Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer.

#celebrities #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Entertainment is significant in life, so famous people

such

Linking Words

as singers, actors,

models

Correct word choice

and models

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

benefit from

this

Linking Words

field. It is argued that they are paid far too much

money

Use synonyms

.In my opinion, I tend to agree that they deserve a high salary for their dedication and effort. First of all, as

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

professions,

celebrities

Use synonyms

have to give a lot of time and relentless training

effortin

Correct your spelling

effort in

the hopes of

shinning

Correct your spelling

shining

show examples

in the limelight.

For example

Linking Words

, Korean trainees

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spent many years efforting against thousands of

ones

Correct your spelling

others

show examples

to reserve a debut.

Secondly

Linking Words

, not everyone has a rich artistic talent that has to go through the process of harsh training ,so that

thay

Correct your spelling

they

can compete in a fast-firing work environment.

For instance

Linking Words

, Jin Bts is a person who has

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

singing and dancing day and night because of his original background as a model, he needs to cultivate more skills to become an idol.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they absolutely

deserve

Add the particle

deserve to

show examples

be paid a high income for their efforts. Another argument in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of paying a lot of

money

Use synonyms

for the jobs which

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

decuation

Correct your spelling

education

decoration

and health of

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

. In fact,

Professions

Replace the word

Professionals

show examples

such

Linking Words

as teachers, doctors and engineers

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have a more stable salary than well-known people. Because they do not have retirement pensions

Linking Words

then

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they get older and the amount of

money

Use synonyms

they receive depends on the number of tickets sold each concert and profit from the music product.

While

Linking Words

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

new

celebrities

Use synonyms

just appear and the old ones have to try their best to bring the quality end trendy goods in order to maintain their social position. It is undeniable that famous people are influencers who have power in

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

community to join them and their fans together to help the

disadvantages

Replace the word

disadvantaged

show examples

or donate charitable funds.

Futher more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the spiritual contributions of

celebrities

Use synonyms

not only help us to relax but

also

Linking Words

inspire the dynamic. In conclusion, I believe that

celebrities

Use synonyms

appropriate be paid far much

Use synonyms

money

Change preposition

of money

show examples

for their dedication.Because every occupation is equal, no job is more noble than

any one

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

,as long as they work true.

Submitted by tramytran09102003 on Mon Apr 27 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that you clearly address all parts of the question, provide relevant ideas, and support your points with specific examples.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the overall organization of the essay and ensure that your ideas are logically connected and coherently presented.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both side individuals and companies to shopping online ?
Online shopping is becoming a popular trend these days and it is growing at an alarming rate especially after the pandemic due to safety and convenience. It is argued that there are advantages and disadvantages for both the individuals and companies from thsi stratergy. In this essay with examples I will discuss whether the advantages out weigh the disadvantages.
6
band
In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is common to see the growth in commercial advertisements of fast food chains and supermarkets to be displayed at schools in some countries. While this can be a clever way to promote the products, this kind of advertising, in my opinion, is unconstitutional and it will have negative impacts on the younger generation.
5.5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays students come across the pressure that they have to be successful in academic studies. Some people tend to think that non-academic subjects are not essential and it is more useful if young people will improve only their academic subjects. However, the issue is not entirely straightforward, and arguments can be made against the idea. This essay will discuss a debate, and give a concluding view.
4.5
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's worl, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether pupils should be learn history or science a lot. While history provides variety of advantages to our world, I believe that science and technology subjects are more important in schools.
4.5
band
Some people believe that studying online is more effective than studying on campus while others disagree. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online learning. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. campus effective Online learning: less connect with teacher and distractions on campus : effective communication , more engagement in the group
Some argue that online study is more effective that learning on campus while others believe opposite. I believe that online study has far more disadvantages than advantages because although online school helps student to learn from anywhere part in the world , this also lead to distractions and less engagement in the class.

Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both side individuals and companies to shopping online ?

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's worl, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.