Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

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It is argued by some people that the improvement of the
sport
amenities is the finest way to improve
health
of society. While others say that other laws are mandatory as previous statement would have
small
Suggestion
a small impact
impact
on public
health
. In my opinion,
although
enhanced
sport
facilities helps to improve people’s
health
, taking other measures
such
as prohibition of smoking is a better solution. On the one hand, enhanced
sport
facilities
helps
Suggestion
help
in improving public
health
by reducing obesity related problems.
This
is because when
sport
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
are upgraded with the new equipment, it draws
people
Suggestion
peoples
attention so that more public show interest in using those facilities
thus
leading them to exercise.
As a result
, they will have less chance of getting overweight related problems
such
as heart attack, blood pressure, and diabetes.
For example
, a research conducted by the John Hopkins University in Denmark found that after
upgrade
Suggestion
the upgrade
an upgrade
of the Denmark city
sport
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
Center
a decade ago, it saw a spike in
number
Suggestion
the number
of people using the facilities,
therefore
the city recorded
less number
Suggestion
a less number
of obesity related problems compared to other cities since
then
.
However
, I believe that other steps
such
as
ban
Suggestion
the ban
a ban
on smoking is required to improve
health
of teeming populace.
On the other hand
, other steps
such
as
ban
Suggestion
the ban
a ban
on smoking will have more
impact
than improving
sport
equipment because it will lessen the
impact
of smoking related problems in everyone.
This
is to say that
prohibition
Suggestion
the prohibition
of smoking not only save
health
of people who actually smoke, but
also
the passive smoker
health
when active smoker smoke in public
thus
reducing smoking related problems
such
as cancer and heart attack.
For instance
, a research conducted by the
Health
Department of India found that 70% of cancer cases reported
last
year are
result
Suggestion
the result
a result
of smoking, of them 50% are active smokers and 20% are passive smokers
thus
having
ban
Suggestion
a ban
on smoking would have saved them from cancer. In conclusion, even though enhanced
sport
facilities improve people wellbeing, taking other measures
such
as
ban
Suggestion
the ban
a ban
on smoking is a more preferable option because it will have more positive
impact
on society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • chronic diseases
  • preventative care
  • obesity
  • physical activity
  • health initiatives
  • health education campaigns
  • social interaction
  • mental wellbeing
  • motivation
  • accessible venues
  • active lifestyle
  • quality healthcare
  • community hubs
  • multipronged approach
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