Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

#people #health #sport #facilities #effect #measures

It is argued by some people that the improvement of the

sport

amenities is the finest way to improve

health

of society. While others say that other laws are mandatory as previous statement would have

small

Suggestion

a small impact

impact

on public

health

. In my opinion,

although

enhanced

sport

facilities helps to improve people’s

health

, taking other measures

such

as prohibition of smoking is a better solution. On the one hand, enhanced

sport

facilities

helps

Suggestion

help

in improving public

health

by reducing obesity related problems.

This

is because when

sport

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

are upgraded with the new equipment, it draws

people

Suggestion

peoples

attention so that more public show interest in using those facilities

thus

leading them to exercise.

As a result

, they will have less chance of getting overweight related problems

such

as heart attack, blood pressure, and diabetes.

For example

, a research conducted by the John Hopkins University in Denmark found that after

upgrade

Suggestion

the upgrade

an upgrade

of the Denmark city

sport

center

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

Center

a decade ago, it saw a spike in

number

Suggestion

the number

of people using the facilities,

therefore

the city recorded

less number

Suggestion

a less number

of obesity related problems compared to other cities since

then

However

, I believe that other steps

such

ban

Suggestion

the ban

a ban

on smoking is required to improve

health

of teeming populace.

On the other hand

, other steps

such

ban

Suggestion

the ban

a ban

on smoking will have more

impact

than improving

sport

equipment because it will lessen the

impact

of smoking related problems in everyone.

This

is to say that

prohibition

Suggestion

the prohibition

of smoking not only save

health

of people who actually smoke, but

also

the passive smoker

health

when active smoker smoke in public

thus

reducing smoking related problems

such

as cancer and heart attack.

For instance

, a research conducted by the

Health

Department of India found that 70% of cancer cases reported

last

year are

result

Suggestion

the result

a result

of smoking, of them 50% are active smokers and 20% are passive smokers

thus

having

ban

Suggestion

a ban

on smoking would have saved them from cancer. In conclusion, even though enhanced

sport

facilities improve people wellbeing, taking other measures

such

ban

Suggestion

the ban

a ban

on smoking is a more preferable option because it will have more positive

impact

on society.

Tue Apr 28 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
chronic diseases
preventative care
obesity
physical activity
health initiatives
health education campaigns
social interaction
mental wellbeing
motivation
accessible venues
active lifestyle
quality healthcare
community hubs
multipronged approach

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Q. In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

It's generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.