the diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies

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The diagram illustrates information about

preparation

Add an article

the preparation

show examples

of a

fish

Use synonyms

pie

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

the

Change the word

its

show examples

ingredients of it. At first

glance

Add a comma

,glance

show examples

it is clear that

Linking Words

the process is divided

two

Change preposition

into two

show examples

main parts,

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

preparation

Add an article

the preparation

a preparation

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of the

potatoes

Use synonyms

, and

Linking Words

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

one is

preparation

Add an article

the preparation

a preparation

show examples

of the fresh

salmon

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the

fish

Use synonyms

pie

consist

Change the verb form

consists

show examples

of some ingredients,

such

Linking Words

as peas,

fish

Use synonyms

, sauce, and potato. Looking into details, the initial step is that the

potatoes

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are delivered to the factory and it takes up to one month. After

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

the

potatoes

Use synonyms

are cleaned, peeled, sliced, and chilled in the factory.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they are passed to the store. At the same time,

also

Linking Words

, the fresh

salmon

Use synonyms

is delivered to the factory and

then

Linking Words

some ingredients – lemon juice and salt are added to the fresh

salmon

Use synonyms

, so it takes about 12 hours or less.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

step, it is passed to the steam oven to cook.

Then

Linking Words

workers remove skin and bones from the

fish

Use synonyms

. After the

inspect’s

Replace the word

inspection’s

show examples

control, prepared peas and sauce are added to it. In the

Linking Words

stage, the

potatoes

Use synonyms

are added to the prepared fresh

salmon

Use synonyms

. After the wrapping stage, the fresh

salmon

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is frozen and dispatched to the stores.

Tue Apr 28 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, potatoes, salmon with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

201 words

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the diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies

SOme people think That parents should teach children how to be good memebers of society. Others believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skils than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applications may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say thw history is one of the most ....

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers,particularly in secondary schools. What are the reason for this, and how could the problem be solved?