IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. other believe it is more important to reward student who show improvement. discuss both opinion and views.

#people #students #results #reward #student #show #improvement
In the recent century, attention to education increase. Some people believe it is important to get a prize for students who get the best academic results. But in the other view, some people think it is more significant to reward students who get development in skills.
This
 essay will discuss the above ideas.
However
, encourage students is one of the ways to improve them and to keep in the true line. Evidence suggests academic educating is one of the ways people can develop in their life. Despite
this
, if students achieve the best result of academic education, we should reward students.
For example
, when students go to university and have a plan for the future, they will help to science and society. That student should get a prize because
firstly
, maybe they will solve some problems about society and the
second
, they are genes. The government should be supporting them.
On the other hand
, some students have less IQ or they don’t like studying. We should encourage children to improve study or they found talent. To illustrate
this
, when the children get bad marks on math, parents shouldn’t punish them, they speak to their child and understand why he or she doesn’t like to study. And rewarded them when he or she get some improvement. It can be less stress them. The main point, schools, and parents don’t compare the children with them. Because every student has different talent so comparing can disappoint them. Summary, considering the points discussed above, both groups of students should be rewarded. Because we shouldn’t compare students with them. They have a different personality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: