IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015.

The bar chart chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015.
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Given is a graph comparing and contrasting the information germane to
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of divorces in two European countries namely;
Finland
Use synonyms
 and Sweden throughout the span of 2011 and 2015. From a cursory glance
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 manifest that both countries’ divorce rates had some fluctuations. Sweden experienced a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
 showed an accumulation throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 had a lower
rate
Use synonyms
, it outraced Sweden
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
As per
Change preposition
apply
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Sweden’s divorce
rate
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, it was about 45% in 2011,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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higher than
Finland
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 by approximately 8%. In 2012, it elevated
almost
Change preposition
by almost
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 fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to approximately 47% in 2013
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and continued to decline steadily to the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, reaching around 45% in 2014 and
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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 its nadir at about 37% in 2015. As for
Finland
Use synonyms
,
divorcement
Correct article usage
the divorcement
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 was less than 40% in 2011, and it tumbled in 2012 to 32%.
However
Linking Words
, the figure experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth during the
period
Use synonyms
. It proliferated to approximately 41% in 2014 and remained steady for the
next
Linking Words
 year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words finland, period, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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