IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tendency #news #reports #media #focus #emergencies #developments #individuals #society
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It is believed by some that mainstream
media
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 channels focus most of their attention on the problems and urgent
issues
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 in
society
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, rather than on positive
news
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, and
this
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 trend is harmful to
people
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. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 Idea because
such
Linking Words
 a tendency involves both positive and negative impacts. On the one hand, a higher frequency of
news
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 stories focusing on negative aspects of
society
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 is not a good thing
,
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apply
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 and can have detrimental effects on
people
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’s mental state.
For example
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,
news
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 about terrorism and war has become so common in the
media
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 that some
people
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 may hesitate to travel abroad
in
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for
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 fear of suffering from a terrorist attack.
Secondly
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, it can
also
Linking Words
 lead
people
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 to have a misunderstanding about many aspects
within
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of
show examples
society
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, which should be given greater respect and recognition.
For example
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, many tabloids,
such
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 as Dispatch of Korea or 14Channel of Vietnam, have always reported on the scandals of celebrities, which can mislead the public into believing in the flaws of showbiz,
whereas
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 in reality, it is an industry where many
people
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 have made many great contributions to
society
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.
On the other hand
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, the focus on negative
issues
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 rather than positive developments is legitimate to some extent.
Firstly
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, the
media
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 can be seen as an effective way to spread the
news
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, to even the most remote places, and
this
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 can help to bring
people
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 together in order to solve serious problems. The more
people
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 that are informed about
issues
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, the sooner they can be solved.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can help to raise awareness amongst citizens. The more negative stories appear in the
media
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, the higher
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 that
people
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 will become aware of it and take action towards a solution.
For instance
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,
news
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 coverage about cancer has now become a common topic in the
media
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, and
as a result
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, a large
amount
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number
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 of
people
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 have switched to a healthier lifestyle. In conclusion, the
media
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 has good reason to report on all
issues
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,
although
Linking Words
 the accompanying negative impacts need to be considered.
Submitted by manikandan.j8 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Maintain consistency in presenting ideas and use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, provide a clear position, and support it with relevant examples and explanations. Ensure that the ideas are focused and developed throughout the essay, maintaining a clear progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news reports
  • media focus
  • negative news
  • positive developments
  • stress and anxiety
  • skewed perception of reality
  • world view
  • desensitization
  • pessimistic outlook
  • general public
  • mental well-being
  • proactive problem-solving
  • holistic view
  • informed decision-making
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