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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinions?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Music
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 is something that creates a melody and touches the heart.
However
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, from the ancient times people are creating sounds with simpler equipments, now evolved into
music
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 of updates instruments.
Music
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 is a good way of bringing people of all castes, religions, cultures together as
this
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 has a common
language
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. During the period when
language
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 did not flourish well, people used to use sign languages and various sounds to communicate.
Moreover
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, it is thought that the idea of creating these sounds came to the mind of the ancient people by observing the trees and the environment during storms and other natural disasters, when these made various echoes with different parts of their body parts like branches, leaves etc.
Consequently
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, they tried to mimic those with some hand made materials which continued to advance in centuries and paved the way of invention of latest musical equipments. The
music
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 is called the nature's pain killer. Though people of different countries make songs of their native
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language but
Accept comma addition
language, but
 the instruments remain almost same and all have the same goal of creating a sense of peace in each mind. So, I think
this
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 effort is successful to a large extent as the
language
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 of the songs, most of the time does not affect the overall soothing effect on the mind.
That is
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 why, it is said that
music
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 has no borders rather it can spread beyond the wired fence and conquer the heart of people of all cast.
As a result
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, the "International folk Fest" has now become
such
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 a popular event that, citizens from multiple nations rush in to enjoy to their heart full. Conclusively, I obviously have full faith that
music
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 has
such
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 a charm that can break all the differences among people and bring them together to share what they feel which is tremendously important in
this
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 broken world of war, poverty and conspiracy.
Submitted by doctorkobi08 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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