IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views give opinions.

#people #children #education #age #think #years
There has been growing momentum in recent years towards movements for children starting
school
 after the life of 7. In my opinion,
although
 going to educational institution from a young youth will help with social development, children should be allowed to grow outside institution until the age of 7. Proponents of early schooling often point out the clinical research on the impact of
school
 on social skills. At home, children are exposed to a variety of different circumstances. They may or may not have siblings, their parents might take them out often or neglect them at home, hampering their social skills. Once children start
school
, they are all in more or less an equal environment where they must communicate with older and younger children, compromise when playing, learn to listen to their teachers, and start forming stable bonds based on empathy and shared interests with others. Despite the social advantages, children can develop more uniquely if they are allowed to delay their entrance to formal schooling. A good example of
this
 is in Finland, where students do not begin
school
 until after the age of 7. Finland is renowned for its top-performing students, but
this
 can be traced to a number of factors
besides
 simply youth.
However
, the impact on individual development is apparent. According to research in child psychology, children form the basis of their personality between the ages of 4 and 7.
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 is paramount to delay the age when they begin
school
 in order to give them room to breath and ultimately produce a greater variety of voices in society at large as has been the case in Finland. In my opinion, the social benefits of faculty do not outweigh the individual positives of delayed schooling to both the individual and society. Schools should continue to research
this
 area so that they can better advise policymakers.
Submitted by mikemichael1909 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: