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Band 6

Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #celebrations #holidays #festivals #people #government
National events and public celebrations are part of government spending.
However
, it is often argued whether an excessive amount of
money
 from the state budget should be used for events or
money
 should be allocated for other needs. I personally tend to favour the latter statement and believe that
money
 should be directed
on
Suggestion
at
to
 the development of infrastructure or modernize existing ones, while
money
 on holding events should be used
from
Suggestion
for
 sponsorship.
To begin
 with, the government is directly responsible for improving the welfare of the population.
In other words
, investments in the improvement of infrastructure in the form of hospitals,
education
Suggestion
educational
 institutions or manufacturing are believed to be a straightforward way to improve the standard of people’s living.
This
 is because it would have a knock-on effect on
population
Accept comma addition
population, such
such
 as increasing life expectancy, growing literacy and decreasing
unemployment rate
Suggestion
the unemployment rate
.
By contrast
, public spending allocated on annual public celebrations may enhance only joyfulness for a few days rather than the quality of life in general.
However
, despite the costly holding events, they play a crucial role in the creation of close-knit community boosting public’s spirits and raising proud in the country by
honoring
conformity with law or custom or practice etc.
honouring
 traditions. For
this
 reason, the governments may engage investment in national festivals.
This
 is important because it is not only may contribute to saving
money
 for significantly important needs but
also
 can enhance the status of a country among
residents
Suggestion
the residents
 due to it encourages them to uphold long-standing traditional events. In conclusion,
although
 public festivals are a key to creating a strong bond and feelings of pride in the country, from my point of view, the administration may attract funds from sponsors;
instead
, saved
money
 may be used to upgrade infrastructure as it has prolonged effects on people’s well-being.
Submitted by elenkaprapors on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funds
  • cultural heritage
  • national pride
  • balanced approach
  • stimulate local economies
  • social cohesion
  • fostering social harmony
  • opportunity costs
  • address crucial issues
  • effective governance
  • public funds
  • overall societal benefit
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