Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others however believe that money had nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #money #factor #happiness

There is

nogainsaying

Suggestion

no gainsaying

that number of people thought that

amount

main part

Suggestion

the main part

a main part

for

Suggestion

masses's

life

for

Suggestion

joyfull

full of or producing joy

joyful

joyfully

while some persons assert that it has nothing to give them pleasure. From my

prespective

a way of regarding situations or topics etc.

perspective

prospective

Accept space

income

is best for individuals comfortable

life

. To support my view,

firstly

, masses can easily complete their all desires with the help of money because they can take everything which they needs those are necessary for people.

Therefore

, those people can spend their

life

more easily and

reliable

Suggestion

reliably

In addition

this

Accept space

the use of

amount

provide

Suggestion

provides

good education to children. Cause of

Accept space

in recent time

Accept space

competition level

Suggestion

the competition level

is very high even that masses

can be educate

Suggestion

can educate

their children in

good school

Suggestion

a good school

good schools

if they get

best

Suggestion

better

knowledge

for

Suggestion

their entire

life

. So,

student

Suggestion

students

the student

a student

can not

cannot

take only good job in

futute but

Suggestion

the future, but

the future but

future but

also

they can achieve their aim of

life

. Apart from above, charity is the best part of

income

. Due to

this

, masses can help to the poor and needy persons.

Thus

individuals

Suggestion

individual

individual's

soul will be

peaceful even

Accept comma addition

peaceful, even

that they feel happy.

However

, people will take more security. Cause of, individuals

always worry

Suggestion

always worries

about the safety of their money even that they

donot

Suggestion

do not

take proper sleep. So

Accept space

masses

Suggestion

the masses

suffer from number diseases

such

as heart attacks, brain problems which are dangerous for human. Beside it, with the use of

amount

Suggestion

the amount

they cannot buy everything which individuals want. Due to

this

Accept space

they cannot buy another

persons

Suggestion

person

person's

interaction, their time

Accept space

love

Accept space

care for them even that people assert that

love

is best

for

Suggestion

life

and

also

they think if persons spend their

life

love

then

they will be more happy but

love

dosenot

socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous

decent

dose not

buy with

income

. So, they cannot get satisfaction even that

masses

Suggestion

the masses

feel alone if they

donot

Suggestion

do not

have good company. To sum up, when people have lots of

money so, there

Suggestion

money, so there

are

number

Suggestion

a number

of benefits for them. Yet

amount

is good for themto lead

Suggestion

easy

life

Accept space

Although

people cannot purchases

love

which are most important

for

Suggestion

their

life

Accept space

reitrate

to say, state, or perform again

reiterate

my view

Accept space

income

complete huge wishes and

also

people spend their whole

life

with comfortable.

Submitted by hardeepka03 on Thu Apr 30 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others however believe that money had nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, people are purchasing fewer new items and more second-hand goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. Give reasons for y

Some people think that teachers should be able to ask disruptive children to leave the class for the overall benefit of the classroom. Do you think it is the best way to deal with a disruptive child in the classroom? What other solutions are there?