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Band 5.5

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well as home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
The Internet, one of the greatest creations, provides people with instant access to an endless supply of
knowledge
 and entertainment.
Therefore some
Accept comma addition
Therefore, some
 people undervalue the role of schools. In my view, it is indisputable that the Internet facilitates students in terms of information sources;
however
 schools are till indispensable when it comes to direct teacher’s guidance and emotional support. These days, thanks to the immense contribution of the internet technology, students are enabled to enrich their
knowledge
 via online learning platforms, newspaper and video
websites
Suggestion
web sites
.
For instance
, by using a search engine like Google, students are able to ask virtually any questions and hunt for a web page with relevant information.
Besides
, there are
also
 millions of
video
Suggestion
videos
 on sites like YouTube explaining various topics, and even online courses, which are appropriate for people of different ages.
As a result
, students can learn a great deal of
knowledge of
Accept comma addition
knowledge, of
 culture, science, and many other areas which they are taught at school at their own pace.
Hence
, students are no longer under pressure due to their heavy workload at schools.
However
, whether all information in the Internet is reliable and websites could act as a teacher or classmate who understands another person thoroughly? It is
also
 noteworthy that there are loads of distractions
in
Suggestion
on
 the Internet, which may result in students’ concentration
on
Suggestion
of
 study.
On the contrary
, the traditional learning model provides students with face-to-face interaction, in which not only teachers’ guidance but
also
 peer support are offered. These factors are extremely significant to a child’s intellectual development. On top of that, extracurricular programs which are organized in school environment support students to not only acquire practical
experience but
Accept comma addition
experience, but
also
 maintain physically healthy and avoid medical problems like
neurodevelopmental
 disorder known as autism. In conclusion, despite the advantages of the acquisition of
knowledge
 through the Internet, I believe that
school environment
Suggestion
the school environment
 is still irreplaceable, which helps students develop comprehensively in terms of academic outcomes, communication skills and physical as well as mental health thanks to the interactions with their teachers and classmates.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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