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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views?

#countries #tourism #effects #change
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Despite the fact that
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
 has contributed effectively to the economy of many countries worldwide, international
tourism
 is believed to have some negative effects. The purpose of
this
 essay is to discuss on possible reasons and to recommend some manners to change that belief. The
development
 of multinational
tourism
has been raising
Suggestion
has raised
 people's concerns not only on
pollution but
Accept comma addition
pollution, but
also
 on the disappearance of local traditional
culture
.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that tourists are attracted by the beauty of undiscovered places,
such
 as desert islands,
villages in
Accept comma addition
villages, in
 tropical jungles, and the
development
 of
tourism
 in those places has caused the negative consequence to its natural environment because of garbage from non-locals' activities.
Secondly
, the locals in those tourist attractions tend to give up on their traditional customs. Inhabitants are likely to establish new services, which conflict with their traditional customs, to earn their livelihood and to make tourists comfortable,
such
 as massage and karaoke services.
This
 occurrence is contributing to the process of losing the native traditional
culture
. In order to change the negative views on
tourism
development
, there are plenty of approaches. On the one hand, authorities in these tourist attractions, who are responsible for the sustainable
development
 of the local
tourism
 industry, should be in collaboration with local citizens in making regulations to orient their
tourism
development
. The regulations for
tourists including
Accept comma addition
tourists, including
 punishment should be stated clearly to reduce the pollution caused by tourists' activities.
On the other hand
, being aware of traditional
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 preservation is the most effective way to attract tourists, not the non-traditional services operated to adapt the visitors' demands. In conclusion,
although
 there are many undeniable negative effects caused by international
tourism
development
,
such
 as environmental pollution and decreasing of native traditional
culture
, lots of solutions could be implemented by locals and government to change the negative views on
effects
Suggestion
the effects
 of
tourism
.
Submitted by ulkarjafarov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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