IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #levels #education #glasgow #city #scotland
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart and pie charts illustrate the percentages of
Add an article
a layman
the layman
show examples
layman
Fix the agreement mistake
laymen
show examples
 in Glasgow having different levels of
education
Use synonyms
 in the year 2010. Information is divided into five different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
show examples
 chart and by gender in the pie charts.
Overall
Linking Words
, the maximum number of
people
Use synonyms
 with
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 were in younger
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the retiree
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 most of them did not have qualifications. The proportions of men and women were
simmilar
Correct your spelling
similar
 and it's showed minor
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
 between the level of
education
Use synonyms
. The percentage of mankind with
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is approximately three
quartes
Correct your spelling
quarters
show examples
 in the
young-
Correct your spelling
young age
show examples
age
Use synonyms
;
people
Use synonyms
 and it's reduced in the later
age
Use synonyms
 group and
steay
Correct your spelling
stay
steady
 at 50% in the 50-75
age
Use synonyms
groupsand
Correct your spelling
groups and
 just 25% in the
last
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
. In the
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 no qualification is just 9% in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 3
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 and that value increased to 30% in the 50-75
age
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
,
escalation
Replace the word
escalating
show examples
 to 72% for
over
Correct pronoun usage
those over
show examples
 75 ages. The proportion of men and women in each section of
education
Use synonyms
 was nearly a
third
Linking Words
 portion and only slightly
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 3% in university graduates and
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have any degrees.
Submitted by ramiavrajesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words education, age, groups, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: