IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

ESSAY : 2 – CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS ACADEMIC, SOCIAL AND COMMERCIAL PERSPECTIVES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THESE PRESSURES AND WHAT MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN TO REDUCE THESE PRESSURE?

#children #pressure #perspectives #pressures #measures
In current
competiting
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
 world, more and more challenges are
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of
pupil
Suggestion
the pupil
. Not only educational, but familiar and commercial difficulties
also
. Behind these
situation
Suggestion
situations
, there are
range
Suggestion
a range
 of reasons and solutions. Both
,
Accept space
,
 causes and solutions are elucidated in upcoming text. The foremost reason for these
pressure
Suggestion
pressures
 is
futuristic approach
Suggestion
a futuristic approach
 of parents. They think that by getting
high score
Suggestion
high scores
a high score
the high score
 in education span
,
Accept space
,
their child will be
get
Suggestion
getting
honour
Suggestion
an honour
 in society and clinch the best job in
industry
Suggestion
the industry
, in
future
Suggestion
the future
. As our guardian
said
express in words
told
 us that if you want a better life in upcoming years, you have to score good in your academic career else you will be
toiled
Suggestion
toiling
 in your workplace. Another one is
burden
Suggestion
a burden
, is given by school tutors to emphasize their results than the others.
Moreover
, interviews and other tests are conducted by job recruiters.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.
e
Suggestion
E
 Mock tests, group interview and personal interview.That may impact on children and their parents, to impose strict environment in
study
Suggestion
the study
a study
 may put more pressure on tender minds. To curb these dreadful situation, the best step
is required
Suggestion
has required
is requiring
requires
 some changes
on
Suggestion
to
 institutional result giving system. They should give priority on grade rather than score. So, It will altered parents mind vice a verse.
For example
, Gujarat government applied grade system in primary level despite of percentage in scorecard by doing these the
sucide
the act of killing yourself
suicide
 rate in children decreased almost
hafly
belonging to or derived from or associated with a divine power
holy
.
Secondly
, as industries required technical skill, they have to conduct task interviews.
Such
 as encounter their current problem by your technical abilities and secure your job not by only interview. Owing to
this
, other battles between
pedogogies
the principles and methods of instruction
pedagogies
pedagogues
 will be over.
Totally
Suggestion
Totals
, In these steep
competiting
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
time
Suggestion
times
, there are
anormous
extraordinarily large in size or extent or amount or power or degree
enormous
anomalous
anonymous
 reasons by which children facing
pressure but
Accept comma addition
pressure, but
, by taking appropriate actions
,
Accept space
,
 those are
ancounter
come together
encountered
 easily.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: