Many parents encourage young people to leave home early when they become older,while others think they should stay at home with the family.discuss both views and give your opinions

#parents #people #home

Family plays an important role in everyone's life. Few people leave

home

after a certain age. Many parents encourage to do so.

This

makes individuals grow strong psychologically. It is really important for anyone

Suggestion

facing

face

this

society, it will be hard on them sometimes. To withstand those hard times

one

should know how to

face

them, it comes from the experience. If you live with your family, they

face

the problem before you are facing it. In fact, even if staying far from

home, still you

Suggestion

home, you still

will get support from the family but you

face

the problem. Another important thing is money management.

One

should know about financial management. It is very important for anyone to have financial freedom. Many parents encourage their children to leave

home

or to live individually is because of

this

reason. They will learn how to earn money and get financial freedom.

However

, there are, some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the potential benefits of leaving the

home

. Primary

one

is relations. Sometimes staying away from the family may create a space between the relations. Some argue that distance makes relation stronger, but from many reports it is clear that distance impacts relation in a bad way. Due to work load sometimes it really very hard to spend time with family.

This

will be even worse when you are living far. You can't involve in your family discussions and decisions.

This

may impact the emotional status of an individual, it indirectly effects society. In my opinion,

one

should have a private life for a certain time.

This

gives you a lot experience and strength to you. The family will be always there for you to support, again, you should be there when your family needs you.

This

need strength which comes from facing issues in life. To conclude,

one

should spend a certain part of time away from

home

Submitted by dheerajsudarsanam on Sat May 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

315 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents encourage young people to leave home early when they become older,while others think they should stay at home with the family.discuss both views and give your opinions

Fully explain your ideas

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