IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #films #value
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Some people think education should be in films, while others argue that entertainment is the main goal of films to become popular with many viewers. I believe that educational films can develop people thinking in life. On the one hand, films have the only purpose to relax, which is widespread to a big number of spectators. Most entertainment films have one general structure and simple content that easy to understand so
attracting
Suggestion
attracted
 wide audiences to watch and enjoy leads to popularity. According to the survey of Oxford University, 80% of Vietnamese teenagers tend to watch Korean romantic films because of following the popular movie trend.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that entertaining films should be taken into consideration because viewers do not remember all the film content after watching.
On the other hand
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, the educational value should be developed in films because of the positive influence on people's minds in society. Filmmakers want to convey different meaningful messages in life that affect to audience’s minds in thoughts and actions,
therefore
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 raising citizens’ awareness.
For example
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, most schools in Finland apply a teaching method that broadens students’ knowledge effectively by watching documentaries and science fiction films. I believe
this
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 school of thought is preferable because educational films can guide people to do
good moral
Accept comma addition
good, moral
 things and have a practical problem- solving skills. In conclusion,
although
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 the main purpose of
films
Suggestion
the films
 is to relax to get more viewers, the educational factor of
films
Suggestion
the films
 should be developed because audiences can raise their awareness in society and
that is
Linking Words
 why the educational value is a more preferable option.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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