The advertisement promoting toys on television should be completely banned. How far you agree or disagree?

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Advertisement plays
part
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a part
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and parcel role in human life from where people know
latest
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the latest
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things. Nowadays, especially
advertise
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advertising
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targeting
children
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and their adverts that frequently promote
toys
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on TV and they are considered
vulnerable
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a vulnerable
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target by companies. I agree with the statement yet some
conservative
Fix the agreement mistake
conservatives
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swing in the opposite direction. I will elaborate
my
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on my
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opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark upon, there are numerous
of
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apply
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reasons why
toys
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should
forbid
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be forbidden
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on
the
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apply
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television. First and foremost,
children
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are obsessed with
toys
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in
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at
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young
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a young
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age and whenever they see these kinds of
commercial
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commercials
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of
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apply
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the
toys
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of their
superhero
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superheroes
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for instance
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Doreman, Batman and Barbie
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apply
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then
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they pester their parents to buy those things
as well as
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this
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can upset the budget of their families.
However
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,
children
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, undertaken
a
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at a
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certain age, lack
ability
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the ability
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to make
the
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apply
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wise
judgement
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judgments
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as they do not know what they really want.
Moreover
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, commercials are
also
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responsible for many
behaviour
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behavioural
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problems and lifestyle issues of today’s
children
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.
For example
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, playing violent electronic games promoted by advertising firms all day
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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some
children
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bad-tempered. All these problems would pose a threat to
children
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’s health
as well as
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growth.
On the other hand
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, childhood is the only age to play with
toys
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. They play a vital role in the physical and mental development of kids.
Furthermore
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, youngsters become more creative by playing with
toys
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and
learn sharing
Wrong verb form
learning to share
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things with others and with the help of broadcast folks know about what
toys
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are available in the market. In the epilogue, I think that though
children
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become demanding to see the adverts of
toys
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,
but
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apply
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a ban on the ad is not a reasonable solution. It is the responsibility of
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apply
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the
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apply
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parents to teach their young ones not to be influenced by commercials.

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Task Response
Improve task response by fully addressing all parts of the question. Present a clear opinion and provide a balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring the essay more logically. Use clear topic sentences, provide supporting details, and ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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