These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development

The invention of communication mediums,

such

as cell phones and the

internet

, has been profound achievements in today's

world

This

essay will outline the perspective, merits the big one is

narrowed

Suggestion

narrowing

down the distances, and another one is entertainment through video games, which is stronger than its demerits.

To begin

with a positive perspective, friends and relatives, living a million miles far are one call away. Mobile phones are the fastest and reliable source to contact loved ones through audio or video calls.

Moreover

, the phone is a blessing to quickly access,

help services

Accept comma addition

help, services

such

as police, ambulance and firefighters in case of emergencies. Another exclusive feature is its camera, to capture valuable moments of life, anytime and anywhere. A recent survey conducted by the University of Virginia reported, 78% of the people in the

world

prefer the mobile phone to stay connected and to socialize with their nears and dears. Apart from

this

, the

internet

made the

world

a smaller place, from where people can play online video games individually or can make teams where members could belong to different countries while sitting in their comfort zones.

Furthermore

, another benefit is, any childhood lost friend can be found and stay connected using applications, Facebook, Instagram and many more. In January 2020, around 2.6 billion users in the whole

world

are connected

Suggestion

connect

through only Facebook. Moving

further

, the merits mentioned above should not blind us towards the danger the

internet

possesses as it is the double-edged weapon. There is always a risk of a hacker to intrude on someone's privacy and identity theft.

In addition

this

, overuse of phones and the

internet

can cause health risks,

for example

, poor eyesight, depression and anxiety. In conclusion, undoubtedly, the advantages of the newer ways of correspondence remove the distances

among

Suggestion

between

many people.

However

, everyone should be vigilant towards its disadvantages.

Submitted by salotrakamal12 on Sat May 02 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.