IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first chart illustrates the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption of Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
 gives information on the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions which are observed from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 usage.
Overall
Linking Words
, household
energy
Use synonyms
 mainly goes to heating
while
Linking Words
 the largest amount of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Use synonyms
 comes from water heating. First of all, the method of heating is the most extensively applied one among others, with 42% of total use, with the relatively low
emission
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
, producing only 15% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. Water heating,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, has the highest amount of
emission
Use synonyms
 (32%) compared to other modes of
energy
Use synonyms
 yet its
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption is substantially equal to its
emission
Use synonyms
 (30%).
In addition
Linking Words
, the use of other applicants
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 15% of total
energy
Use synonyms
 employment yet
producing
Wrong verb form
produces
show examples
 28% of
overall
Linking Words
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, refrigerators reproduce 14% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it consumes 7% of total
energy
Use synonyms
. The lighting only applies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4% of
energy
Use synonyms
 use
while
Linking Words
 its rate of generation of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 is doubled
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 8%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emission with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: