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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults
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Whether the mature persons and the teenagers should be sentenced at the equivalent level of justice has been arisen to discuss. As I concerned, the punishment ought to be measured based on the age of the criminals.
Hence
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, the following two perspectives are given to explain why I disagree with the topic and why teenagers need to be treated differently.
Initially
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, the social responsibility that the mature persons take is completely different from the teenagers’. The mature persons are able to support their own life independently.
However
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, the teenagers are not literally capable of taking the responsibility without the supervision of their parents. It is obvious that the world view and realization about the society of the teenagers could not provide them with reasonable decisions.
Secondly
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, motivation of committing a serious crime should be investigated between teenagers and mature persons. Misleading society could allure those teenagers into committing an extreme crime. In
this
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 case, the punishment is essential for the youngster to correct the wrong-doing and modify the misbehaviour.
For instance
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, increasing numbers of young offenders would like to rob the house or steal money from friends for achieving an imaginary life. Thereby, consideration of the age and inducement would be thoughtful for the illegal justice. In conclusion, taking the social responsibility is the greatest task for the teenagers to learn before they could take affordable risks to create cooperative motivations
instead
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 of damage the society.
Thus
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, identical penalties that punish the mature persons and teenagers would unintentionally cause partial judgement.
Submitted by Welkin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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