Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults

Whether the mature persons and the teenagers should be sentenced at the equivalent level of justice has been arisen to discuss. As I concerned, the punishment ought to be measured based on the age of the criminals.

Hence

, the following two perspectives are given to explain why I disagree with the topic and why teenagers need to be treated differently.

Initially

, the social responsibility that the mature persons take is completely different from the teenagers’. The mature persons are able to support their own life independently.

However

, the teenagers are not literally capable of taking the responsibility without the supervision of their parents. It is obvious that the world view and realization about the society of the teenagers could not provide them with reasonable decisions.

Secondly

, motivation of committing a serious crime should be investigated between teenagers and mature persons. Misleading society could allure those teenagers into committing an extreme crime. In

this

case, the punishment is essential for the youngster to correct the wrong-doing and modify the misbehaviour.

For instance

, increasing numbers of young offenders would like to rob the house or steal money from friends for achieving an imaginary life. Thereby, consideration of the age and inducement would be thoughtful for the illegal justice. In conclusion, taking the social responsibility is the greatest task for the teenagers to learn before they could take affordable risks to create cooperative motivations

instead

of damage the society.

Thus

, identical penalties that punish the mature persons and teenagers would unintentionally cause partial judgement.

Submitted by Welkin on Sun May 03 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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