IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe the Olympic Games don’t belong to the 21st century anymore. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympic #games #don’t #st #century
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that the Olympic Games do not belong to the 21st century anymore. I strongly disagree with
this
 argument and believe that it belongs to all centuries. There are several reasons that the Olympic is not belonging to the specific century.
Firstly
, individuals need to do exercise on a daily basis. The occasion like Olympic demonstrate many kinds of sports, and can encourage people to choose the one
that is
 interesting to them.
For example
, individuals may not be aware about the sports which are exciting and interesting to them.
Secondly
, the Olympic event helps to preserve many sports which are at the edge of distinct.
Finally
, people compete to get the highest medal in Olympic to show their talent and gain honour for their countries.
Moreover
, since the event holds each 4 years in different countries, the one who holds the event can gain a high amount of money which can help to develop their country apart from create job opportunity for the locals.
For instance
, constructing the buildings before the Olympic makes a great deal of job opportunities for local people. Different nations willing to show their talent and qualification to other countries. It is good to show their power and release their patriot filling in the events
such
 as Olympic Games
instead
 of confront in a direct war.
Besides
, the countries can share their culture and learn more about each other.
Although
 many people believe that the Olympic occasion is not belong to the 21st century, I believe that the Olympic Games are beneficial for all people for now and future.
Submitted by ms13562003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: