We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think this will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

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In today’s world, computer-based technology has become an integral part of our daily lives. From smartphones and laptops to smart home devices and advanced medical equipment, our reliance on technology is undeniable.

This

essay answers whether

this

evolution of dependency on computers is beneficial or not. As technology continues to advance at a rapid pace, our dependency on it is likely to grow even

further

. Innovations

such

as artificial intelligence, the Internet of Things and quantum computing would revolutionize various sectors.

For instance

, AI is expected to enhance decision-making processes in healthcare, finance, and education,

while

IoT will connect everyday objects to the internet, making our lives more convenient and efficient.

Similarly

, quantum computing and its huge processing power

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

could solve difficult problems that are currently beyond

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reach. These are some factors that in my opinion, relying on

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

could be most beneficial to.

However

, there are

also

some drawbacks to our growing dependence on computers. One concern is the loss of privacy. As we share more personal information online, the risk of data breaches and cyberattacks increases.

This

can lead to identity theft, financial loss, and other serious consequences. Another big issue is the risk

for

Change preposition

show examples

job displacement. Automation and AI could replace many jobs, leading to unemployment and economic inequality.

While

new jobs will likely be created in the tech sector, there may be a skills gap that leaves some workers and graduates behind.

Overall

this

dependence on tech is mostly beneficial or if it is not, it has not still

showen

Correct your spelling

shown

any major threat.

Submitted by Taha Sol. on Sun Oct 13 2024

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grammar

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors, like missing articles or using incorrect verb forms. These minor inaccuracies don't detract significantly from your score, but a polished essay is always better.

structure

Make sure your conclusion clearly sums up the main points of your essay. This one does align with the general discussion, but try making the conclusion a bit stronger and concise by restating the key arguments and your clear stance.

development

Develop your arguments more thoroughly. For instance, when discussing the potential downsides of technology, include a bit more about how society can mitigate these effects to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

examples

You provided clear examples like AI in healthcare and IoT in daily life which strengthen your essay.

logical flow

The essay showcases a good logical flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your ideas.

introduction

Your introduction sets the stage effectively, and the topic is introduced in a clear and straightforward manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Artificial Intelligence (AI)
Machine Learning
Automated
Internet of Things (IoT)
Telecommuting
Digital Technology
Virtual Workplaces
Computer-assisted
Healthcare Industry
Reliance
Privacy
Human Interaction
Job Displacement
Automation
Digital Divide
Cybersecurity
Internet Safety
Digital Crime
Ethical Considerations
Environmental Impacts
E-waste
Carbon Footprint

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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think this will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Include an introduction and conclusion

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that cities should be designed to be beautiful rather than functional. Do you agree?

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?