We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think this will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In today’s world, computer-based technology has become an integral part of our daily lives. From smartphones and laptops to smart home devices and advanced medical equipment, our reliance on technology is undeniable.
This
essay answers whether
this
evolution of dependency on computers is beneficial or not. As technology continues to advance at a rapid pace, our dependency on it is likely to grow even
further
. Innovations
such
as artificial intelligence, the Internet of Things and quantum computing would revolutionize various sectors.
For instance
, AI is expected to enhance decision-making processes in healthcare, finance, and education,
while
IoT will connect everyday objects to the internet, making our lives more convenient and efficient.
Similarly
, quantum computing and its huge processing power
,
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could solve difficult problems that are currently beyond
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reach. These are some factors that in my opinion, relying on
computer
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the computer
a computer
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could be most beneficial to.
However
, there are
also
some drawbacks to our growing dependence on computers. One concern is the loss of privacy. As we share more personal information online, the risk of data breaches and cyberattacks increases.
This
can lead to identity theft, financial loss, and other serious consequences. Another big issue is the risk
for
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of
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job displacement. Automation and AI could replace many jobs, leading to unemployment and economic inequality.
While
new jobs will likely be created in the tech sector, there may be a skills gap that leaves some workers and graduates behind.
Overall
,
this
dependence on tech is mostly beneficial or if it is not, it has not still
showen
Correct your spelling
shown
any major threat.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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grammar
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors, like missing articles or using incorrect verb forms. These minor inaccuracies don't detract significantly from your score, but a polished essay is always better.
structure
Make sure your conclusion clearly sums up the main points of your essay. This one does align with the general discussion, but try making the conclusion a bit stronger and concise by restating the key arguments and your clear stance.
development
Develop your arguments more thoroughly. For instance, when discussing the potential downsides of technology, include a bit more about how society can mitigate these effects to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
examples
You provided clear examples like AI in healthcare and IoT in daily life which strengthen your essay.
logical flow
The essay showcases a good logical flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your ideas.
introduction
Your introduction sets the stage effectively, and the topic is introduced in a clear and straightforward manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Machine Learning
  • Automated
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Telecommuting
  • Digital Technology
  • Virtual Workplaces
  • Computer-assisted
  • Healthcare Industry
  • Reliance
  • Privacy
  • Human Interaction
  • Job Displacement
  • Automation
  • Digital Divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Internet Safety
  • Digital Crime
  • Ethical Considerations
  • Environmental Impacts
  • E-waste
  • Carbon Footprint
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