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Band 4.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
There is no doubt
,
Accept space
,
most of the
art
 form
are diminishing
Suggestion
is diminishing
 owing to their low popularity in these days.
Hence
,
Accept space
,
Art
's performer might not to proceed with their profession as they are getting
few
Suggestion
fewer
 amount of pay through it;
however
,
government
 ought to give financial support to motivate them. In my viewpoint, it is important to save
art
,
Accept space
,
if it can be through
government
 involvement definitely must be a part of it.
Art
 is a reflection of our society which make to rich nation's culture in
world
Suggestion
the world
 wide, despite it
is seem
Suggestion
seems
 that
mostly
Suggestion
most
 artists are not interesting to uplift their career in it. Since they are unable to satisfy their day-to-day needs with
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 income, they should be given a monthly stipend by the
government
. Undoubtedly, they will encourage, and create creative and innovative
art
 production that may famous globally and locally. It will be lucrative for both artist and country.
For instance
, if painter paint a unique picture obviously he or she will get
benefit
Suggestion
the benefit
 and their fans become proud
for
Suggestion
of
 the nation. Moving ahead, it is not only enrich country name but
also
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 person
take
Suggestion
takes
 initiative to excel their future in these
sector
Suggestion
sectors
 rather than science, computer.
Thus
, people
are keep
Suggestion
are keeping
keep
are kept
 going with their
art
 skills, and it
help
Suggestion
helps
 to balance unemployment as mostly humans resort to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their requirements start
work
Suggestion
working
 in other job profiles
instead
 of
continue
Suggestion
continuing
 in
art
 activities.
In other words
, if they get financial aid, they will only focus
in
Suggestion
on
 their skills and
art
creativity
Suggestion
creation
creative
 in or6 to profound their task
more successful
Suggestion
more successfully
.
Consequenctly
Suggestion
Consequently
, I will be ameliorated economy growth, and youth will find new opportunities in their interest
of
Suggestion
on
in
art
 field. To encapsulate,
although
 artist has not more willing to keep their career
init
Suggestion
in it
 because of
less income source
Suggestion
the less income source
,
government
 should help and motivate them so they can continue their employment as any
art
 form.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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