Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects. Other people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A certain portion of
population
Suggestion
the population
believe
Suggestion
believes
that secondary school students should be taught in their
education
whilst others disagree that and think it will lead to waste
student's
Suggestion
the student's time
time
which is considerable. I think
education
schedule has enough
time
for benefit activity.
To begin
with, some authorities think that studying real news about all around the
world
necessary for students because if
education offer
Suggestion
education offers
an education offer
to students
this
lesson, students will be
more awareness
Suggestion
more aware
about
world
Suggestion
the world
and
learn follow news
Suggestion
learn to follow the news
learn follow the news
.
Moreover
, children
are grew
Suggestion
are grown
being no idea about worlds issues and events by these
education
program
Suggestion
programs
. In
recent survey
Suggestion
a recent survey
in Sweden show that
contemporary
Suggestion
the contemporary education system
education
system make children to
isolation
Suggestion
isolate
isolated
individual about
real
Suggestion
the real world
world
.
This
is why, governments should alter in their
education
systems.
On the other hand
, those who opposed to
this
say that students could not get lessons
such
as maths and science because of lack of
time
. If new modules add to
program
, already jammed
program
will be more jammed.
Actually no
Accept comma addition
Actually, no
evidence to support
this
view.
However
, experts usually say that It is clear that
education
program
include many mistakes and science lessons' problems are not relevant with lack of
time
, there is a mistake in another
statements
Suggestion
state
statement
. In conclusion, the fact that students do not know our
world
and there is not
logical solution
Suggestion
a logical solution
without adding
new activity
Suggestion
new activities
a new activity
to existing school
program
. There is some doubt that it
will causes
Suggestion
will cause
serious
time
problems but
Accept comma addition
problems, but
experts and most research show that it will not affect other lessons.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Global citizenship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Communication skills
  • Historical context
  • World affairs
  • Academic subjects
  • Bias
  • Misinformation
  • Age-appropriate
  • Media literacy
  • Educational enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: