Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time

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Some people think that less leisure hours and more money are an essential for everyone, but others believed that leisure time plays a vital role in modern society rather than huge income.

To begin

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with,

although

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, earning more wealth is a dream of every person in the whole world, but no-one considers about relaxation moment, even though, it is essential for everyone.

Firstly

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, life is more stress free by having a huge amount of money, anything may be purchased with it.

Such

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as, clothes, shoes and any electronic things, etc.

Furthermore

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, people can provide more luxurious and comfortable lifestyle for their loved ones or family with earning more wage, but they sacrifice their hobbies for better livelihood.

Secondly

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, education and health facilities can be given to their families.

On the other hand

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, money is important for good living, but spending relaxing hour

also

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plays a vital role in the modern society.

Firstly

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this

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time is very important because it cannot be purchased from anywhere again. People can live stress free and healthy with spending leisure moment or doing activities.

Secondly

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, individuals can spend quality moments with their loved ones. Many people spend their whole life for earning and they feel regret later in their life that they could spend relaxing time with their family.

Furthermore

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, less hours for family, which is critical to handle when it comes to the personal relations or family level. To sum up, these both things are essential for human.

Therefore

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, people ought to give attention equally on both issues.

Mon May 04 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
facilitating
lifestyle
professional development
increased stress
work-life balance
hobbies
quality time
physical and mental health
financial constraints
luxury items
overall well-being
personal growth
middle ground
sacrificing

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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Should standardized testing be the primary method to assess educational achievement globally?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities.Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.