IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that to give opportunuties to the new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #opportunuties #generation #companies #level #employees
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Some people are of the opinion that skilled
labour
Use synonyms
 force who are older than 55 must be applauded by companies to be retired to offer a priceless opportunity to contemporary
generation
Suggestion
generate
. I definitely agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective, and will give my reasons. The golden aim of fresh graduates is primary to build up their character and seek social status in the community. The initiative step to achieve these goals is that they must be independent financially, because it is a principal region of every independence. If their
life
Use synonyms
 were afforded by themselves, having social statues would be adventured, so they can make a decision
,
Accept space
,
 having perspective and attitude in the manifold aspects of
life
Use synonyms
, afterwards their individual trait can be nurtured gradually. Consisting a marvellous
couple
Suggestion
couple's
couples
life
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, can be acquired by passing all the steps that are mentioned before.
Thus
Linking Words
, since numerous vacancies must be appeared for young generation to enter
labour
Use synonyms
 market, it can not be occurred unless staff who are in the higher age be retired.
Although
Linking Words
 the specialist workers have tremendous experience which can assist
company
Suggestion
companies
,
Accept space
,
 not only inborn
factors but
Accept comma addition
factors, but
also
Linking Words
 modern knowledge can be intended in the way of prosperity in companies by young graduates. If their innovation and imagination are combined with new the methods which are taught in universities
,
Accept space
,
 the amazing achievement will be obtained. The foundation of these fundamental modifications can be prepared by the companies for the youth generations to divulge their competency. Take the majority of applications were based on windows which now are outdated as an example, The new systems demand to work with android applications which is a new programming language and can be designed by fresh staff. Companies,
hence
Linking Words
, need to recruit youth generation to be
adapt
Suggestion
adapted
adapting
 themselves to the contemporary
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in my position fresh
labour
Use synonyms
 force can facilitate the way of triumph in the
labour
Use synonyms
 market for companies as well as they demand to live on our feet, these targets can be fulfilled by recruiting them in the way of dismissal of older
staff
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
stuff
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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