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Music is played in every society and culture in world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however think that music can have a negative influence on both

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence
Generally,
music
 is
one
 of the most popular and ancient modes of human expressions. Nowadays the role of
music
 is crucial in society. Some individuals think that
music
 is beneficial for society. Other people believe that
music
 can have adverse effects on individuals and societies. I completely agree
this
 aspect. On the
one
 hand, many people regard that
music
 is more profitable for people and societies.
First
one
 benefit is that
music
 influence on mental health. A
lot
 of people listen to
music
 when they have problems because they think that
music
help
Suggestion
helps
 to overcome challenges.
Moreover they
Accept comma addition
Moreover, they
also
 try to forget all bad situations and sad memories
by
Suggestion
of
music
..
Therefore some
Accept comma addition
Therefore, some
scients
a person with advanced knowledge of one or more sciences
scientist
 said that
music
 is beneficial for growing baby.
Secondly
, at
present day
Suggestion
the present day
 a
lot
 of young people are learning
second language
Suggestion
a second language
 so
music
 can have positive sides
for
Suggestion
of
to
 them. Because they are able to learn
a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
 various of words through
listening foreign
Suggestion
listening to foreign
music
.Listening to
music
 is
only hobby
Suggestion
the only hobby
 for some
people especially
Accept comma addition
people, especially
 young generations. So they
can not
can not
cannot
 imagine
world
Suggestion
a world
the world
 without
music
.
On the other hand
, some individuals reckon that
music
 can have negative sides
for
Suggestion
of
 society.
First
one
 is that a
lot
 of people are becoming crazy about
music
.
Consequently they
Accept comma addition
Consequently, they
 are spending a
lot
 of free time for
this
 activity. Especially nowadays pupils often listen to
music
.
As a result
, it disturbs them from their study, so a great deal of teachers
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that it
cause
Suggestion
causes
 to decline
quality
Suggestion
the quality
 of education.
Secondly it
Accept comma addition
Secondly, it's
Secondly it's
 effect on health.
For
example many
Accept comma addition
example, many
 people who listen to
music
 face to ear-problem.
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it's
Moreover it's
 effect on your brain precisely your memory.
Finally there
Accept comma addition
Finally, there
 are a various of
music
 at
present day
Suggestion
the present day
.
However all
Accept comma addition
However, all
 of them are not suitable for our culture.
For instance
 listening to
music
 is sacrilege for Moslems. In
conclusion it
Accept comma addition
conclusion, it
 seems to me that
music
 is harmful for individuals so I uphold that
instead
 of it, we should read a
lot
 of books.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Rhythm
  • Socio-cultural
  • Artistic expression
  • Cognitive development
  • Soundtrack
  • Moral implications
  • Acoustic ecology
  • Intellectual property
  • Authenticity
  • Commercialization
  • Media literacy
  • Sensory overload
  • Acculturation
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