Music is played in every society and culture in world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however think that music can have a negative influence on both

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

Generally,

music

one

of the most popular and ancient modes of human expressions. Nowadays the role of

music

is crucial in society. Some individuals think that

music

is beneficial for society. Other people believe that

music

can have adverse effects on individuals and societies. I completely agree

this

aspect. On the

one

hand, many people regard that

music

is more profitable for people and societies.

First

one

benefit is that

music

influence on mental health. A

lot

of people listen to

music

when they have problems because they think that

music

help

Suggestion

helps

to overcome challenges.

Moreover they

Accept comma addition

Moreover, they

also

try to forget all bad situations and sad memories

Suggestion

music

Therefore some

Accept comma addition

Therefore, some

scients

a person with advanced knowledge of one or more sciences

scientist

said that

music

is beneficial for growing baby.

Secondly

, at

present day

Suggestion

the present day

lot

of young people are learning

second language

Suggestion

a second language

music

can have positive sides

for

Suggestion

them. Because they are able to learn

expresses position, direction or location, or point in time

various of words through

listening foreign

Suggestion

listening to foreign

music

.Listening to

music

only hobby

Suggestion

the only hobby

for some

people especially

Accept comma addition

people, especially

young generations. So they

can not

cannot

imagine

world

Suggestion

a world

the world

without

music

On the other hand

, some individuals reckon that

music

can have negative sides

for

Suggestion

society.

First

one

is that a

lot

of people are becoming crazy about

music

Consequently they

Accept comma addition

Consequently, they

are spending a

lot

of free time for

this

activity. Especially nowadays pupils often listen to

music

As a result

, it disturbs them from their study, so a great deal of teachers

believe

Suggestion

believes

that it

cause

Suggestion

causes

to decline

quality

Suggestion

the quality

of education.

Secondly it

Accept comma addition

Secondly, it's

Secondly it's

effect on health.

For

example many

Accept comma addition

example, many

people who listen to

music

face to ear-problem.

Moreover it

Accept comma addition

Moreover, it's

Moreover it's

effect on your brain precisely your memory.

Finally there

Accept comma addition

Finally, there

are a various of

music

present day

Suggestion

the present day

However all

Accept comma addition

However, all

of them are not suitable for our culture.

For instance

listening to

music

is sacrilege for Moslems. In

conclusion it

Accept comma addition

conclusion, it

seems to me that

music

is harmful for individuals so I uphold that

instead

of it, we should read a

lot

of books.

Mon May 04 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however think that music can have a negative influence on both

Include an introduction and conclusion

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.